I have been thinking so much lately on the adoption of older children. What is so hard about it? Why is it so hard? Why do so many run from it? So many questions so many thoughts. So many statements people have said to me that break my heart. Here are some of my thoughts.
As I dreamed of adopting from an early age I dreamed of adopting one baby at a time. Hearing so often how hard it is to adopt older children I never even considered doing it myself. Little did I know, God was knowing my thoughts and knowing that HE was going to change everything my little mind was thinking. So here I am today and have adopted three older children. God is so good and so faithful and knows exactly what we need. I am so thankful to be on this journey.
Redemption-deliverance;rescue
Questions and statements I have thought on and want to write about.
Is it easy to bond with an older child? Have you bonded with your new children?
So much bonding happens in infancy when you are holding and cuddling and feeding. It is an entire new ball game when you adopt an older child that is not as cute as a baby has bad breath when they scream in your face and are mean often. What do you do, you just keep loving and by loving i mean tons of affection and tons of discipline. And when you are annoyed and your heart is broken you just keep loving. When you do not want to hug them, you hug them. And when your feelings are hurt, you pursue them as Christ pursues us. And in that bonding happens for both sides. Christ has shown us so much about our rejection of Him and how He continues to scoop us up and pursue us with the purest love. THank you Jesus! Redemption. And in this the miracles start to happen the bonds start to come and you learn about unconditional love that makes your heart ache so deeply it is hard to breath.
I have heard often, I would never adopt older children. That is a hard one to swallow gracefully, but I understand the fear. I understand that fear of the behavioral issues and the trauma and the hardship. I do live them every day, but I also live the miracles and I don't want to be anywhere else. I understand the fear I feel it so deep there are times I cannot sleep. But in those times I call out to Jesus because no movie no food no friend or family will bring peace just my dear Savior. He will bring peace and I will know Him more and I will love HIm more. He knows my fears and He destroys my fears with His truth. I say adopting older children is hard but parenting is hard whether you ever adopt or not. When Christ adopts His children they are not perfect little sweet babies we are full of issues that he patiently parents us through and disciplines us and loves us. He is consistent and loves us unconditionally. What a wonderful Father. Thank you Jesus! Redemption.
I have often heard, I would never adopt out of birth order. Once again I understand that statement. Without a doubt this is what God had for our family and although I would not have ever chosen this, God did and I am so thankful. My goal is to teach my children that their identity is not in birth order or skin color or talents but in Jesus Christ. God has poured out his mercy and grace on this very issue. THank you Jesus? Redemption.
Will you guys ever adopt again? I hope so. That is up to the Lord.
People have said, Can you believe how hard this is? Can you believe these are the children you cried and prayed for so long before you got them. Yes they are and I would cry and pray for them all over again even knowing what I know now. God kept me awake at night the entire process giving me a reality check to what we were committing to. The spiritual battle began long before I held them in my arms. I don't desire freedom from this calling. My only desire is to know Jesus more and that is coming through some great struggles. Thank you Jesus! Redemption.
I cannot tell you the joy in my heart when Petros tells everyone we meet that I am his mama. Some of you may have a hard time imagining what our family is like. Well we are just a family. Those of you that know us and have spent time with us know that we are just a family.
This was a very difficult weekend with Adanech. And as we were working through so much and I was hurt and angry, angry at her past, angry at her birth parents, angry at her behavior, angry at my frustrated self. But as Jake and I prayed together and with her my heart softened and as I held Adanech in my arms and prayed with her I kept thinking, Thank you Jesus. Thank you for allowing us to be her parents. Thank you for pushing me in this way. Thank you for teaching me to love in a way I didn't think was possible. Thank you for rescuing Adanech. Thank you Jesus! Redemption.
I cannot help but think on how Christ has rescued me and delivered me. I am overwhelmed with His love and His sacrifice. I would not know it like I know it now had we not walked this journey. I want to know it even more. I firmly believe that we find Christ when we suffer with Him. I have never experienced God in this way in comfort or safety. Give us courage Lord to step out of the boat.
Now with all that said, that children have come so far. My angry, manipulative, traumatized Adanech is learning to be truthful and she smiles almost all the time. she loves hugs and loves to give them. Although she has so much pain, she is learning to love and accept love. My screaming scared naughty Abreham, is so loving and giving and never screams with fits anymore. He is often scared but a few hugs from mom and dad and he is peaceful. He just needs to be reminded that he is our son. My sick sick Petros is healthy and moving forward in every way. He loves so much!!! God has done so many miracles and in faith I believe that He will continue to heal the hurting hearts of my babies. Thank you Jesus! REDEMPTION.
love love
Jen
