Adanech turns 9!!

Yesterday was a special day. To all of you that have gone on the journey with us I want to bring you back to the first day I saw a picture of Adanech. We were first matched with the boys and couple days later we were told they had an older sister and we needed to pray about doing all three or none. We accepted all three but that little girl scared me to death. I had never parented a 7 or 8 year old. How would I be a mom to a little girl with so much sadness and a little girl that would remember so much. How would I be a mother to a little girl that has a mother that she loves. As we accepted all three anxiety took over, I would be up at night literally shaking and sick with fear, fear of the unknown. I would sometimes be running and praying and I would feel God say, Jeni, this is going to be so hard, harder then anything you have ever done. You will have to give more of yourself then you ever have, and it will hurt, hurt real bad. I would cry and run and tell God, I will not give up God, I know that I cannot do this, but I am trusting that you will give me wisdom and equip me. I was so worn out from not trusting God, but slowly God was teaching me to trust him. Not trying to leave the boys out of this, I was just not as scared to be their mother. The truth of the word of God began a work in my heart as we got closer and closer to getting the children. I will never forget the first day with the children. I will never forget my first thought as Adanech walked towards me. I thought, oh my she is beautiful and she is so brave. She told me this month that when we came to get her she was very scared, but you never would of known. She walked right up to me and gave me a big hug. We were both scared. I cannot put into words how hard it has been, but without the hardness we would not be witnessing the miracle of God, in this little girl. She has come so far!!!
So, yesterday, it was just a day of beauty and a view of God's work in Adanech's life. She was so excited for this day, it would be the first time she celebrated her birthday. She said her mom in Ethiopia used to celebrate her birthday with bread, but they had no money for gifts. We started the morning with a trip to the beauty shop. Now I love Addie's natural hair, it is awesome, but she always talks about wanting it straight. So I took her to our favorite girl Sharmelle and she oiled that baby up and flat ironed it. Addie was speechless and so happy. She just kept running her fingers through her hair and saying, mom, my hair is like yours. Marya just kept telling her how beautiful if was but to make sure to tell her she loves it in braids too. We came home to the boys and they all told her how lovely she looked as she just smiled from ear to ear. Then Jake and I took her out to eat at an Ethiopian restaurant here. Ellie stayed back with the others, thank you Ellie! Jake opened her door and held her hand or had his arm around her while we walked. She was loving it. She loved her injera and was unusually speechless, she just kept smiling. When we were driving home she said, mom this is a very very good day, I never have a day like this before. Then Jake and I told her in Amharic that she was our daughter and that we loved her and she spoke back in Amharic and told us that we were her mother and father and that she loved us. Now we do this often but yesterday it was like she was saying it with a new trust for us. We have had some huge steps forward with her. She told us about a month ago crying, thank you for adopting me. She knows how much we love her and she is trusting us, so awesome. we then spent the afternoon cleaning and cooking her birthday dinner. She wanted me to cook minestrone with garlic bread. Our tradition is to have kids wine and share toasts about the person celebrating their birthday. So we took turns doing that, which is very funny and sweet. Then we had cake and opened presents. She was beyond thankful and went to bed beaming and thanking God for her family. It was a joy to watch this little girl today. I loved watching her brothers and and sister just love her and be so happy for her.


We gave all the kids Indian names
Adanech- Brave Willow, because she is so brave and elegant like a willow tree. She loves her name. She is my helper at home and cleans better then I do. The girls room is always clean and that is not because of Marya although Marya is learning a lot from her big sister about cleaning. Addie, is loving, loving school. If I would work with her all day she would do it. This little girl loves to pray and literally cries out to Jesus. She is mature beyond her years in so many ways and she is full of compassion. She senses when I am sad and wants to hug me and take care of me. She is going to be an amazing wife and mother someday.
Marya- Wild Horse, what else is there to say, she is wild and loves horses. This little girl is me!! She still gets the most spanks but the fruit in her life is amazing, God has been so faithful. She does school like me, fast and messy and doesn't mind doing it wrong. She is not a perfectionist. Her passion for life is sweet and so funny to watch. She feels things very deeply.
Abreham- Servant heart, do I need to say more. This boy is a gifted servant. he just beams as he helps anyone and everyone. He loves to help his little brothers and anyone else who asks. I have never seen anything like it. About a month ago this little boy wanted to tell me about the day he went to the orphanage. Which was strange because he never ever talks about stuff like that. So I said, yes son tell me. He then went on to tell me some very sad things with tears in his eyes. I picked him up from the table and took him out to the front porch away from everyone. I said, baby I am so sorry that you had to go through that, as I said that he started to wail and cry like I had never seen. I just held him until he was done. He sweetly then rubbed my arm as i assured him of our love for him and that he did not have to ever leave us. This little boy has a lot of pain in his heart and I am thankful that he is letting it out and letting me hold him as he does.
Ezra- Crooked Arrow, ok this little boy is out there. You never know what he is going to say and it is always so random. He is so funny. I also think he has the gift of encouragement. He often just randomly says the sweetest things. Like when Adanech comes down fro breakfast, Addie, you look pretty. Or if all the kids are racing he will be way behind the older kids and he will be yelling good job to the ones way up front and he just keeps smiling until he finishes and tells everyone good job. I love it. Ezra, loves school and surprisingly pays very good attention.
Petros- Smiles A lot, yes we took the name from Dances with Wolves, it just fits him too good. This boy smiles all day. No matter how sad or mad he is he quickly returns to a smile. This little boy has been lying a lot and been getting spanked a lot, it was really bad this last week so friday night me and the kids all sat around him and prayed for him and Petros was very touched by it, especially when Addie prayed while she was crying and Petros got tears in his eyes. Well yesterday we went a whole day without lying and it was so wonderful. His speech is still very hard to understand but every once in a while he says something so clearly. This guy is a comedy act!!
Jake, Ellie, and I continue to grow as a family. Ellie is such a blessing to have here. There are eight of us and each meal is big with a lot of work but hey our table is full of smiles, stories, laughing, tears, and most importantly the word of God. We are so blessed, the Lord has been faithful through each trial to teach us and refine us and push us along. We all are so excited for Thanksgiving, Benjah is coming, my mom and Grandma Edna, Seth and his wife Lindsey and our new friend Antwone, we are so looking forward to this time. We are already listening to Christmas music and loving it!! We all can't wait to visit the great state of Nebraska for Christmas.
love love
Jen

We made it to Virginia

We made it to Virginia!!
Jake drove two days with the boys and Kota. I flew with the girls. All the kids did great with the travel. some of you may not know that Jake's sister Ellie is living with us so we were so blessed to have Sheila and Buzz help her move here which in turn was very very helpful to us. I got a bad viral eye infection two weeks before we had to leave for VA and it was bad stuff. It continued into our time traveling and when we got here, it actually got worse. I had to go to the ER our first Sunday here and miss church. I was left with scaring on my cornea and was told that it was serious and that I may loose my sight. As I sat there in the doctors office I started to bawl and I thought of not seeing God's creation anymore, about not seeing my children's faces as they grew, thinking how soon could I learn braille so I could read the bible. I had a lot of thoughts just flying through my mind. The Lord impressed on my heart that even if the worst was to happen and I would loose my sight, that one day I would see His face. I clung to that as I went through a very scary week as we waited to see what would happen. I could not read, I could not drive and I could not really unpack. Sheila just jumped right in and helped so very much. The Lord knew we would need them with us during this time. So after some time my eyes have improved. My left eye is 20/30 and my right eye is 20/60. The specialist says it may take two months for my eyes to heal. There are other options if it does not improve. I am so thankful for the healing that has happened. Thank you to any of you that prayed for us. During this time I would say to God, this is too much. I would have times of peace and time of panic, but through it all God had a purpose. I had another chance to trust Him and to battle my sin of unbelief.
*Virginia is very beautiful. It has endless places to run, hike, and bike. Ellie and I have been exploring the trails.

*The church here is such a blessing. We had friends bringing us wonderful food during our struggles and it was such a blessing. Church has been great. WE are loving the preaching and the fellowship.

*We found a college student from Ethiopia to tutor Adanech and Abreham in Amharic, we are so excited. WE went to a park last Friday and there was an entire soccer field of guys from Ethiopia speaking Amharic and Addie and Abreham just lit up. Addie walked up to a couple girls and asked them if they were from Ethiopia and they said yes and got really excited and said we can tell you are too. They all started hugging and kissing on the children. Addie got to practice Amharic with the girls and they sang some together. Two of the girls kept thanking me for adopting the children, she got all teary eyed. She said, she could not believe that we adopted all three of them. Addie asked one of the girls, Did your mom put you in an orphanage? It broke my heart. We hope to see them again soon.

*We started home school and there really are no words to express the reality of the work ahead. AS we go through the days and we not only work on school, but character issues and talk about Christ in every situation. I think how I could not do that if they were away from me all day. I am not committing to home school until graduation. I will commit a semester at a time. We will see what the Lord does. Jake is doing a lot and he is such a better teacher then I am. Addie loves school and would go all day if we would do it with her. Marya loves school too and she gets the most spanks. Abreham, is a perfectionist and is very timid and hard on himself. He has come a long way in a short time though. I am also doing some stuff with Ezra and Petros too. They are so funny. Petros turned three this month and is growing and growing some more. I am getting the chance once again to trust God and face some sin that comes up as I am working with the kids.

HIGHLIGHTS
*Ellie has made us some amazing food!!!!
*the trees are starting to change color and it is amazing
*the Lord provided a home for us in a way that the only explanation is it was all Him
*The kids are transitioning beautifully
*The Lord is continuing to convict us and push us as a family
*Jake has many coffee shops to choose from
*There is an Ethiopian resturant here yum!!

love love
Jen

moving

Hello all
We are moving to Virginia. Jake and I have struggled and prayed through this for a long, long time. Jake feels that our next step is to Virginia. I am looking forward to see what God is going to do in our lives.

ADANECH-we have made some huge strides this summer. The other day she woke up and said, mom I had a dream. She proceeded to tell me about her dream. She dreamed that we went to Ethiopia and I brought her to her birth mom and we all cried. She said I left her with her and that night she was crying for me and wanted me to come and get her. I have never wanted her to feel like she has to choose a mother that she loves more, but that dream showed me that she is starting to truly trust me and love me, it was so sweet. Addie learned how to ride a bike this summer. It was full of DRAMA!!! You have to understand that this girl can turn on the drama like you have never seen. She has learned to use drama to get her way and I am constantly trying to teach her that, that is not ok. So I looked at her and said I don't care if we have to stay up all night you will obey me and learn to ride this bike. I knew she was more then capable. So after a lot of screaming, spanking, and crying, she learned. the other kids were in bed. After she learned she got off her bike and came to me crying and was so thankful. I helped her shower and get ready for bed and she just kept saying she was so thankful. Through this whole episode we quoted scripture and prayed and I think it was a big break through for the both of us. God gave her to me for a very specific reason. I see it ever day!!!
MARYA-Last night we were out to eat and I had told the children not to get up. Well Marya got up and I explained that when we got home she was going to have to have a spank. So by the time we got home I was tired and she reminded me about the spank and I said I am not going to spank you, you did good the rest of the night. I have never said that before, just copped out on a spank. so after I said that Marya said with great passion in her voice, Mom you can not disobey God. He says that you have to spank me if I disobey. MOm, please don't disobey God you can't. You must obey him. I sat down on my bed and just started to cry. I said, baby you are right, you are so right. so I spanked her while I was crying and she hugged me and said,mom I love you so much. Please don't disobey God ever again. WOW!!!!! God taught me a lot through that.
ABREHAM-The other night he was brushing his teeth in my bathroom and he looked at me and said, mom I don't want my mom to die. I said are you talking about your mom in Ethiopia and he said yes. I said, I know baby we will keep praying for her. He said ok mom and gave me a kiss and that was it. He is a thinker, not much of a talker. I wonder what goes on in his little mind sometimes. He continues to be such a joy to parent. This boy loves to ride his bike, so cute!
EZRA-this little guy is coming out of his shell. He make me laugh every day and is starting to have a lot more to say. He loves to wear boots around all day, no matter how hot it is. He sometimes comes to me and says, mom, Abreham loves me and I will say yes he does. Abreham takes care of Ezra and Petros, it is so sweet. Ezra gets braver and tougher by the day. All he needed was an older brother to love and him and push him to get a little tougher.
PETROS-This little boy loves cars. He likes to sit and look for car adds in magazines and sit and look at them and make car noises, it is so funny. The other day he was praying and in the middle of his prayer he just started making car noises. Jake and I have been encouraging the kids to not baby Petros and to help us make him grow up a bit. I keep telling him, Petros you are a big boy and he will look at me and say, no baby, big boy. HE will be three next month. He loves, loves to dance and listen to uncle Benjah, and Lecrae.
Anthony was in Ethiopia this summer and met with their birth mom. We now have video of her talking about why she had to give the kids up for adoption. We found out more about the kids and it is very helpful.

WE are starting homeschooling and it is so hard for me. I love my kids and I love having them home but the whole teaching thing is so hard for me. I love to teach them practical things, but school stuff not really my thing. I am going to try it, but I am not promising anything. It is hard teaching two children that don't totally now English yet. The three of them all learn differently. Each day is so beyond me, the amount of patience, love, compassion, and discipline, is so beyond me. God is showing me his power and faithfulness. This morning I started the day with tears just thinking of everything. I can't spend time thinking about those things, it is too overwhelming. It takes a lot of discipline for me to think on the truth so I don't break down. We just had our six month post placement. These last six months have by far been the hardest of my life. Nothing compares to it. The reality of it is it is very very hard, but I have never questioned our decision to do this. God makes it clear each day that this is exactly what He had for us.
love love
Jen

rambling

We are still in Alabama. We had an offer on the house and then the
people pulled out the day before we were leaving for NE. Yes, we were
disappointed for just a bit. When our realtor called my eyes welled
up with tears and I was mad. In the midst of these feelings and as my
realtor was talking I felt the Lord say, you can trust me. You don't
have to cry you don't have to be mad you can trust me. So we are
trusting God for his timing. When we drove away from Alabama in
December I said to myself I will never go back again and I said I will
never spend another summer there. Well here I am in Alabama and in
the summer!! I am more then willing to stay as long as we need to.
We don't know how long we will be here living one day at a time. Not
sure where we are going or when we are going. God continues to push
us to let go of this world. Some times I feel like I let go for like
a minute and then I grab it again. We are fighting to let go and not
look back.
As we are here we are fighting much sin. Fighting sin that comes and
stares you in the face as you deal with much stress. I believe the
state of your heart truly comes out when you are pushed and pulled.
Wow, my heart is in bad condition. I am being pushed from every angle
and it is not pretty. God says, you asked me to show you your sin
daily and I am answering you. I say here I am God, how can you love
this. When I have my worst days I picture my unshowered, frowning,
yelling self with the blood of Christ over me. I am so thankful for
Jesus. God continues to show me in such a real way that I have no
hope, not at all, not for one moment. People tell me a lot, God will
not give you more then you can handle and that is a rotten lie. God
has given me way more then I can handle so I can see Him work. If He
never gives me more then I can handle then I would do it all on my
own. I want to see God work so I need more then I can handle, so I
can be broken before God.
We have gotten to spend some time with Anthony and Hannah and it has
been so great. The kids could not wait to see Anthony and they don't
ever want to leave him. Anthony and Hannah could not believe how much
the kids had changed. Abreham often asks, Mom, Anthony's house? We
are so thankful for their friendship through all of this!!! Anthony
and Hannah's daughter Ellie is also from Ethiopia and when her and
Adanech met it was like they always knew each other. They giggled and
talked for hours, very very cute.
The kids are doing great. Adanech loves to run and dislikes the heat.
Pray for her as she struggles to be a child. She does not like being
under authority but we are begging God for his grace as we shepherd
her heart. I am seeing fruit. Abreham loves bright colors and
dislikes to fall down. God has done a miracle with this little boy.
Marya loves adventure and dislikes bananas. She is at the root of
almost every argument with the kids, but she loves to make up. She
still gets the most spanks. We are so much alike!! Ezra loves
snuggle time and dislikes clean up time. He loves to wrestle with his
brothers and is getting tougher. Petros loves just about everything
and dislikes cold things in his mouth. He has come so far in
obedience. We are working on his strength, when he falls down he gets
right back up. The five of them get along so well. I often look at
all of them and think WOW!!
love love
Jen

kitchen window

This morning I stood at my kitchen window in Alabama. I watched all
five of my children play in a little swimming pool, laughing,
squealing, hugging. I cannot explain how I feel. I stood at that
window many times watching Marya and Ezra play outside and I pictured
the other three with them. I stood at the window crying with sadness
as we waited for them to get here and today I stand at that window
crying tears of joy. God has done a miracle!!!
We are in Alabama to do some adoptions stuff. The kids love it here.
All the pictures we sent to the kids in Ethiopia were in this home and
Addie kept asking when we would go to that home. Since we have gotten
here she has asked if we could stay forever. We are selling this
house so we will not be staying, but they are very happy to be here.
We drove from Lincoln to Alabama in one day. THe kids did great!! WE
had no spanks, our van was mostly filled with laughter. As some of
you know Addie gets very car sick. I gave her some dramamine and some
motion sickness bands and she did great. The last hour she asked us
to pull over but she did not vomit. We made it all the way here, she
was so happy. Addie just keeps saying, mom it is so hot.
Marya and Ezra were so happy to see their clothes and toys and they
were more then happy to share it all with their new siblings.

ADDIEA-This little brave girl continues to push me daily. To learn
how to parent better, to go to God more. We have had many
conversations about her birth mom. She feels very responsible to take
care of her. she often talks about taking care of her while she is
sick and how her mom needs her to bring her water and to take care of
her legs. My heart breaks for her. Part of her is so happy to be
here and part of her feels like her birth mom needs her. In the last
month though she has told us a few times that she never wants to leave
us. She said when I get big I will not leave you I want to stay with
you forever. We continue to bond more and more and she adores her
daddy. She also wants to talk about the bible all the time. She has
a real desire to understand sin and what it means to know Jesus. I
love it.
MARYA- She has grown up so much through this process. Her and Addie
talk about wanting to help people on the streets. We came in contact
with another homeless man in Lincoln. The girls gave them their money
and a bible. AFter we pulled away Marya just started to weep and beg
to go back to she could hug him. This went on for some time. Jake
and I talked about how we never want to say no to our girls when they
want to serve someone. We never want to let them touch lives while we
sit back and watch. We have so much to learn from them. Marya is so
happy to be back in Alabama and visit her friends and to go to
Chick-fil-a.
ABREHAM-Our little smiley boy. He got two new front teeth and he is
happy about that. We just celebrated a birthday for this little guy.
He turned five May 20th. My sister gave him his first present ever
all wrapped up. He did not know what to do with it. He just smiled
at the package like that was it. We encouraged him to open it, of
course Marya was happy to show him how to unwrap it. When he
unwrapped it he just stared at the white box like that was his present
and just kept smiling. So we encouraged him to open the box and there
were some books inside, he was so happy. He got other presents for
his birthday and he is taking very good care of them. This morning
when he got up he came and clung to me very tightly and put his head
back and said, I want to stay with you. He seemed very sad. Jake got
home from running and we were trying to get him to talk to us, he
remained silent. Jake held him and sang Praise the name of Jesus,
Abreham's eyes filled with tears and big tears rolled down his cheeks.
We explained to him that he will stay with us. He nodded his head
and seems to me doing better. I don't know what was going through his
little brain but it was burdening him.
EZRA-My mother-in-law put it perfectly. He seems happy to just be
apart of the five. He is our most quiet child. He says the words I
love to hear the most, ok mom, when I ask him to do something. He
calms me down, when he comes to sit with me he does not ask anything
of me and he does not demand he usually just wants to sit and hug me
and give kisses. When it is time to work he is the most lazy so we
are working on that. He loves, loves his brothers. THis morning he
ran and gave Addie and big hug.
PETROS-HE informed us last week that he is not a baby. Addie and
ABreham often call him baby and last week he said no baby. I cannot
say enough how much this little boy has change physically. He is
still mostly smiles. He sings when he goes to bed and sings when he
gets up. Also when we drove here he spent a lot of time looking out
he window and singing.

This morning Ezra disobeyed and was going to get a spank. Marya
pleaded that she wanted to take the spank for him. Jake let her do it
and when it was over Jake took this perfect example to talk about the
gospel. The kids listened and Ezra was stunned with Marya's actions.
After we were done, Addie explained that she wanted to take all the
spanks for her brothers and sister. It was a beautiful time of
explaining the gospel.
Jake and I are so happy to be in Alabama right now. Visiting our
family here and of course we will take full advantage of the ice cream
shop down the road. We are praying for more clarity while we are
here. Our house has not sold and we still do not know where we are
moving. We are learning to be a family in many circumstances and
learning to love each other though it all. Marya and Addie continue
to want to add to our family through adoption. What is ahead for this
family?? Jake and I desire God to use us for His purposes and that we
would be willing to do anything at anytime to accomplish it.
love love
Jen

Adanech Elizabeth EliAnn

I only share this story so you can hear the heart of my little girl.

On our way home Sunday we stopped in York to go the bathroom. We saw
a homeless man that I had seen early that week in Doniphan and we felt
like God was giving us a second chance to show him Christ. So we got
him some food and stopped to talk with him. When Jake got back in the
car the kids were full of questions. Addie, asked us to go back so we
did. She got in her backpack and got out all the money she had been
saving. Whenever she finds change on the ground she puts it in her
back pack. So she got it all and gave it to him with tears in her
eyes. When she got back in the car she said to Jake and I, Ethiopia,
no home, no food, no bed, no friends help. So she was telling us she
was homeless in Ethiopia. Jake looked at her and said that is why we
came to get you. She looked at us crying happy tears with a big smile
on her face. She then proceeded to ask if she could sleep on the
floor and if this man could have her bed and her food and water. She
continued to talk and cry about him we prayed for him that night. HEr
little heart knew exactly what it felt like to be homeless and have no
help. As she learns English she shares more with us about her life
and some things are just too much to share. The compassion in her
heart is beautiful. I pray that the Lord will use her sad beginning
of life to fill her with compassion for those in need and passion to
obey Jesus Christ.
Many people have said, you guys are so kind to help these children and
change their lives. I can say the line from Blindside, no they are
changing ours.
love love
Jen

Teeth

Forgive me if this does not make much sense, I am tired. I have gotten this question a lot. Do you feel attached with your new children? Do you feel the same about them that you do about Marya and Ezra? Well today when I was getting Abreham and Addie ready to go to the surgery center for their dental surgeries, my heart was aching. Wishing I could do something to make them not have to do this. Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched them face this with so much fear. They had a lot of pain in their mouths so this was needed. I had that mama lion instinct to protect them but also knowing that this is what is best for them. So I would say, YES, I am attached with the new children. They did great!! Jake the best dad ever took the kids while I stayed home with the other three and packed for this weekend. When Jake got home we had special places set up for them to lay down and soft food to eat. They cried for a while because they just felt weird but once the anesthesia wore off they were playing like nothing happened. Abreham cried every once in a while when he would feel for his front two teeth. Addie just kept smiling. I could tell her mouth already felt better.

ADDIE-Over a year ago when we got matched with all three children I remember crying and fearing being this girls mother. Could I be the mother she needed. I was afraid to just jump into being a 7 year olds mother. I would be up at night thinking about her, filled with anxiety, knowing the reality of this. The Lord was faithful and kept pushing me to trust Him. Now she is home with me and I still deal with these fears. At the end of each day I just want to fall on my face. She needs so much. She hangs on me like a baby or toddler. Whenever I hug any of the other children she begs for a hug. She sits on me all day and won't let me do anything alone. She also wants to converse all day and I mean all day. SO I still ask God, Can I be the mother she needs. My prayer is that in five years I will be looking at a young lady that is secure in the love of Christ. I also see improvements already. I often just sit back and look at her and think, wow God she is such an amazing little girl. She has been through so much and she still continues to smile. I love her so much. Pray for her heart to heal. Melissa thank you so much for all your advice. I love hearing from a mom that has been there done that. You are the best!!.

MARYA-she not only speaks some Amharic now but she also speaks broken English just like Addie and Abreham. Mommy, me drink, me outside. She cracks us up. Today as we were saying good by to Addie and Abreham she was crying and was afraid for them. She keeps asking me if we can adopt more children. Tonight she said mom, why don't all people adopt. I said good question. She really loves them. The Lord has designed this family to be together and I just love watching it all happen. Marya and Addie are both first borns so you can imagine the two big sisters that know it all. The Lord is using them in each others lives in a mighty way. They are soooooo good for each other. Marya also got her finger slammed in the door and had to go the ER. She is so brave they had to burn a whole in the fingernail to let the blood out, no tears just lots of talking to the doctor and nurses. My daughters sure can talk, once again I don't know where they get it????.

ABREHAM-I watch this son of mine during the day and just smile. He shares like no child I know. One of his sisters or brothers will say I want that he will hand it over with a smile on his face and find something else. He will push them in a swing or pull them in a wagon for hours. He is a servant, I pray he never loses that. My heart filled with joy as I watch him. He also loves to help mommy, daddy, grandpa or grandma. I never could of imagined we would be here after our start with this little guy. I often see him with is arm around Ezra or Petros just walking in the yard. I could not ask for a better big brother to those two. I think all the children are learning from him.

EZRA-The three boys can play all day without an argument. Ezra has prayed a couple times this week thanking God for his brothers. Ezra cries the easiest of the boys and Abreham is always there to help him. Ezra said yesterday, mom Abreham loves me and I say I know. I went on an errand with EZra again. HE was quiet the whole way except he said, mom, my just love Grandpa. This little boy continues to melt my heart daily. Tonight I went in after he was asleep and just held his head in my hands and prayed for him to be a man of God. A man that would proclaim the gospel to a lost world. He is my little Jake.

PETROS-He is so funny!!!! Everything he does makes us smile. I stand in amazement at his growth in every way. I have had adoptive parents tell me that consistent love and healthy environment can change a child's life. Petros is proof. He is just changing all the time. The little boy that could barely walk or hold his head up when we first got him is running around and smiling and eating like a horse. He is a very loving boy and loves to make people smile. One of my favorite things to do is put my forehead against his and sing praise the name of Jesus with him. He holds my face and sings right with me.

AS I sit and think back over this journey, I am so thankful and grateful for God's perfect timing. How did we get here God? It is all You and it is all for You. WOW, WOW, WOW, WOW, WOW!!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers friends. We could not have done this without them. Thank you for carrying me at times when I was so weak I could feel the prayers. Thank you for encouraging me and pointing me continually to Christ. Jake and I still do not know our next step. We have not sold our house in AL yet. God's timing is perfect and we will wait for that. I hope some of you took the time to listen to the Radical sermon series. There are really not words to describe our feelings. Let's just say conviction and brokenness.

love Jen

Humility

Pride is lurking at every corner to overtake us. The process has humbled me more then anything in my life. I have never been so out of control and needed so much help in my life. God needed to do some humbling and will need to my whole life. Motherhood has been a joyous slow transition into sacrifice and unconditional love. Now all at once I have three new ones, just like that. I am trying to teach things to a 7 and 4 year old that I taught to Marya and Ezra at one and two. It is like having three new toddlers in your home in many ways. They have never been taught to properly deal with their emotions. I am daily pushed to extreme emotional places. I am in bootcamp for self-control, sacrifice and endurance. Boot camp to trust God in a whole new way to get me through each day and each new experience.. As I sit here I have worked out many times without showering because I am just too tired at the end of the day. I do plan to shower tonight though. Some of you are going, you are so gross and some of you know just what I am saying. There are moments that I sit and wish I had a friend sitting by me holding my hand and saying you can do it, keep going. Many years ago I had a vision of Christ holding me in his arms and I was limp and so weak. I see that vision often. HE is continuing to humble me and to show me his strength and His purposes and HIs faithfulness. I am learning to experience God in a new way. I have asked HIm to help me to know HIm more and He has been faithful to answer my cry.

This week Addie and Abreham have really started to grow in their English. Abreham just decided two days ago to start saying all kinds of things. Addie is working very hard at it. Jake was gone for four days and ABreham spent hours crying for him. NO matter how much I reassured him that daddy would come back it did not bring him comfort. Abreham has already lost one earthly father. I prayed over Abreham begging God to save him one day and to show him that He will never leave Him or forsake him. THese children have already experienced so much loss. When Jake got home Abreham just wanted to hold his face and smile at him and give him kisses, it was beyond sweet. When the Addie and ABreham get sad Marya and Ezra usually just jump right to it and hug them and tell them it will be ok. I love it!!!!!!

Yesterday Addie helped me clean the entire house and was so helpful and so cute. She stayed on it and was so cute. AT one point she told me to get to my room and clean. I was just laughing and thinking how so many of my friends would get a kick out of that. I have a daughter that likes to clean, WHAT????? She always says, mom let me help. She also wants to take care of me. She wants to make sure I always have food. She obviously had to worry about that with her birth mom.

As tired as I may be it is all a gift. I am humbled at my weakness and thankful for God's greatness. How else can I be humbled except to be broken, there is no short cut. How else can I see the greatness of God except to be broken and weak. I just don't know if I ever want to live any other way. A broken and contrite spirit oh Lord you will receive. I keep asking myself, Do I really believe what the word says about being a disciple of Christ?

love

Jen

Attachment

Hello from the wild loud house,

We have seen some major improvements this week. As Jake and I are seeking Christ and finding our first love obviously we are more content and satisfied. I find that often my emotions are dictated by my children and that is so wrong. If my satisfaction is in Christ and I know His love for me there is nothing and no one that should change my attitude. As Anthony said to me in Ethiopia, you cannot march to the beat of their drum. There is only one drum I ought to march to do and that is Christ's. So Jake and I have been listening to these sermons on Radical Christian living and it has been so timely for us. We need to be reminded daily of our call as a Christian and to be consumed with the word of God.

Addie is making huge changes. We have not had one night of crying for her birth mom or Ethiopia this week. As we have continued to assure her of our commitment and love for her and stay consistent with discipline she flourishes. We still talk about it and I think it makes her feel good to feel free to talk about it. I told her this week that I love Ethiopia and it made her so happy, so now she asks, mommy love Ethiopia?? As she goes through all of these emotions she is really attaching with Jake and I. IT is so hard for her little heart. She feels abandoned by her birth mother yet she loves us and feels like she has to choose. I don't want her to feel that. I want her to feel safe to cry about anything with me and know that I will not be jealous of her love for her birth mother. She clings to us almost like a baby. We hold her and look her in her eyes and tell her of our love daily. She freely tells us she loves us a lot. I cannot imagine what all goes through her mind. Also her pouting seems to be improving. Addie, loves me to pray for her. She always asks me to pray and she closes her eyes and holds on to me tightly and when I am finished she hugs me and says thank you mom.

Abreham, wow, I cannot say enough how different this little boy is. The more he feels safe and loved by us the more he relaxes. He is seriously an amazing playmate. He shares and takes care of people and hugs his sisters and brothers. HE loves, loves Jake and I hold him and love on him. Today I was watching him jump on the tramp with Marya and Ezra with the biggest smile. We got family pictures this week and he shut down for those and was so sad. We wasn't mad or pouting he was just truly sad, he wanted to be held by us and to be near us but he was sad. The next day we looked at some of the pictures and he said, Abreham no sad. He is such a joy!!!

Marya and Ezra continue to grow through this whole transition. I notice great changes in their character. This journey has just been so amazing for our entire family. I laid by Ezra last night and told him a few stories and just looked at his face and listened to him talk. He has changed so much and I love to watch his little mouth talk. I am so happy to see what the Lord is doing in their lives.

Petros is continuing to grow physically. He just looks so healthy. He seems to even be getting happier and happier. I didn't think it was possible for this little boy to smile any more. His kisses all of us and does his best to keep up with his brothers. Addie still loves to carry him around but he has gotten so big it is hard for her. I pray this little boy never loses his joy.

LIfe is very very crazy here. Sometimes I get sick of doing charades and just want it to be easier and I want a break. There are also times where I just don't think I could be any more joyful. I am constantly crying out to God and begging to know Him more. I am being pushed in every way and it is uncomfortable but I am seeing His promises are true. I often feel like a little girl and wonder what I am doing?? We feel like God has down a miraculous work of attachment in our family. We have so far to go but we are trusting God to take us there one step at a time.

love love

Jen

God's grace

First of all thank you so much to any of you that have prayed for us!! I am very humbled by the support and love we have received. We continue to have new joys and new struggles each day. Christ has been so faithful to continue to show us our great need for Him. As we continue on this journey, Jake and I are humbled by our sin that overwhelms us. We often doubt God and are quick to anger and worry. We long to truly believe the word of God and to walk in truth.

ADANECH-as time goes she pouts more and throws fits and tries to manipulate all situations. We knew this was coming and we are begging God for wisdom as we shepherd her hurting heart. She seems to be learning a bit that pouting just is not going to get her way. She is still the best cleaner in our house. She has been asking to go back to Ethiopia and crying to see her birth mom. She wants to take ABreham and Petros and go. We talk about it daily and I try my best to hold her and love her through it all and remind her that we are all a family. Marya will say, Addie don't leave me and Addies smiles. Then she talks about taking us all to Ethiopia. I don't want her to ever feel like she has to let go of Ethiopia and her family there. We pray for her birth mom. When she talks about it Abreham starts to cry because he does not want to go back to Ethiopia. I can't imagine what all goes through their little minds. She will come to us after hours of pouting and say sorry mom, sorry dad. We are so thankful for her!!

MARYA-Not much new here. She is still crazy, crazy, crazy. She loves a lot and gets mad fast. She is always telling Addie, please don't pout.

ABREHAM-This little boy is a new boy. HE still pouts but very little. He shares the best and is the best playmate for all of them. HE will push Petros in his stroller for hours and that is not an exaggeration. HE will give all the kids rides on his bike and loves to push them in the laundry basket. He is a very fast runner and I just laugh seeing him go. He has 0 percent body fat and is so scrappy. At night after we pray and sing, he holds my face and gives me kisses on both my cheeks and forehead.

EZRA-He is finding his place with his new brothers. The three of them playing is awesome. There is rarely any fighting. They play and play and play outside. I love watching the boys play, it just makes my heart sore. Ezra started to say I love you mama and I said no you say, my love you mama. It always make me sad when my kids start saying things right.

PETROS-When everything is just too crazy Jake says focus on Petros and you will smile. He is full of joy almost all the time. If he is sad or upset it is over very very fast. He has been combining Ahmaric and English, it is so cute. HE sings himself to sleep and wakes up singing. I pray he never loses this joy. HE is getting faster on those feet of his.

We have gone running with the kids a few times. Addie and Abreham are fast and can go for it. Those of you that know I love distance running, know that made me excited. I went and bought them running shoes and they were very excited. So they will be running with us a lot. My little marathoners!!!! Marya said, I need to practice, it was really cute.

Jake turned 31 and his mom and dad and Ellie came to celebrate. The kids loved it and keep asking for them to come back. We got to have Buzz'a ribs and kids loved them, it was so great.

Jake and I are listening to a sermon series on radical Christian living. I really encourage you to take the time to listen. I had a number of people suggest it to us and I am so thankful. It is worth losing sleep over and giving up some TV. We are very much in need of these sermons.

Here is the link: http://www.brookhills.org/media/series/radical

love love you

Jen

5 weeks

AT this very moment all five kids are outside and I am having a moment of silence and I am choosing to listen to some new Benjah as loud as I can.

This morning Jake and I had some sweet prayer time. Right now we are struggling through our calling as a family. We are meditating on what it means to not be conformed to this world and what it truly means to renew our minds. Every day we feel the pull to live comfortably and to be safe. We go back and forth every day wanting to be logical and then wanting to be radical. We are trusting that God is going to answer our prayer for clarity.

This is a short update. The kids continue to learn more English. They use the word mom all day because that is one word they know very well. This morning when I was running (yes Jake let me go for a run) I was praying and feeling overwhelmed as I often do. I felt the Lord saying use this time to draw from my strength, to learn true joy and to walk humbly. As I was finishing my run I could hear the laughter of five children and I could see them playing outside. When they saw me they all ran to me and tackled me and gave me many kisses, LOVED IT!!!!!!

Adanech and Abreham continue to pout a lot when they do not get their way. It gets very annoying but I believe there will be a day that they love their new limits. If I take Adanech to any store like Walmart she goes crazy asking for everything she sees and I have to tell her no over and over again and then the pouting and fake crying starts. IT is very overwhelming for her, sometimes I laugh at the craziness and other times it takes every bit of self-control to not scream.

There are new joys and struggles each day. I have my doctorate in cleaning up vomit this last month. I am a pro. Addie and Abreham vomit from their asthma a lot and then we had the stomach bug come through the house and having all those sick kids sure makes me reconsider more kids!!

The kids really bonded with Amanda this last week and it is good to see that. They have been asking for her all day. The first day she was with us the noise overwhelmed her and she slowly got used to it.

Well my quiet time is ending as I hear some fighting outside.

love love

Jen

One Month

As I write one month I sit and take a deep breath and think, wow God you are great!! Adanech stands by me learning to floss her teeth and her sweet voice keeps saying mom as she wants me to watch her. There has been so much change in this family in the last month. All of us and it has been hard but so good as we cling to Christ and see the beauty of the cross more clearly. I watch the children struggle through their identities. I don't want them to find their identity in birth order, language, culture, people or a place but in Christ. That is what I am learning daily for myself also. We are daily discussing how can we teach our children to live a radical, sacrificial life for Christ. How can we teach them to love the needy, to love the things Christ loves and to turn from this world. I find myself daily longing for a home and thinking that it will bring so much peace to my soul and then I hear God's quiet gentle voice, My daughter it will not bring you satisfaction. There is more to this life I have for you and it does not include comfort. Jake and I know that we cannot teach our children these things by just talking about them we have to live them out before them. May Jake and I have the courage to obey the word of God and the humility to submit to His will.

My parents guest home that we are staying in has been a blessing. We are all on top of each other all day but it has caused us to bond very quickly as a family. Addie and Abreham do not like it if any of us are not together it is very cute. The children continue to change daily and to smile more.

ADDIE-Her crying times have gotten better and a lot less. She has had days just filled with laughter and smiles. It is hard for her to not be able to communicate but she is a trooper and is trying more then ever to speak English. She wants to watch the Jesus film every day and when Christ is crucified she weeps and weeps and gets on her knees in front of the TV. We had Anthony talk to her on the phone about it so we made sure she understood why Jesus had to die and about the resurrection. She went to the dentist yesterday and she will be having a dental surgery to take out some rotting teeth and hopefully help her mouth feel better. today I am taking her to get her ears pierced and to get her hair braided, she is very excited. I often feel like a little girl as I try to parent a 7 year old, it is all new to me. I love her so much.

MARYA-is still a great sister to all and loves living by Grandma and Grandpa. She is very motherly and sometime too motherly if you know what I mean. Addie and Marya just play great together and they include their brothers most of the time. Marya will say at night, God answered our prayers, they are here. She prays daily for God to help her obey her parents and for HIm to change her heart. I will never get tired of hearing that prayer. She is a wild little girl and I have no idea where she got that, right?????

ABREHAM-This little guy smiles more each day. It has been days since a big fit and he is a great brother. HE loves cars and we got him his own bike and he is very excited, but thinking about the other children. HE wondered if they could get new bikes the next day. He went to the dentist also and has the worst teeth of them all. He also will have to have a dental surgery to take out rotting teeth. HE probably has the most pain. I look forward to the day that he can eat without holding his mouth in pain. I tell Aberham, I love you son and then he says back to me, I love you son. I try to explain to him what I mean by son and he just smiles. When we put them to bed he loves to sing and give big hugs and kisses and say I love you very much. Last night I held him as Jake played the guitar and we were singing and he sang right in my ear with his sweet little voice, my heart was overflowing.

EZRA-He is growing and changing just like any three year old little boy. Every morning when Petros gets up EZra runs to him and they give hugs and kisses. Abreham and Ezra are very cute on their bikes. We are trying to toughen this little boy up as he can cry at drop of a hat. HE still gets lost in the craziness. HE is usually the most quiet and content and sadly will get the least attention. Jake and I will remind each other to make special time for our big blue eyed boy.

PETROS-He continues to get stronger, and to run faster. He continues to gain weight and to look healthier. HE has changed the most physically in this month. I am exctied for Anthony and Hannah to see him get around as they saw how weak he was when we first got him. HE still makes us all laugh and always has a kiss and hug. He is getting used to our large dog. HE calls for him and then screams when the dog comes. He also went to the dentist and his teeth are in great condition. He was in the orphanage basically since his teeth came in and they brush their teeth there. I told him yesterday, one day you will make a great husband and make your wife laugh. His facial expressions are GREAT!!

Jake is working away from the house this week adn I think he is loving working without five kids begging for his attention, good thing I never do that to him when he is working at home. The kids ask for him all day and tackle him when he gets home. My cousin Amanda is with us this week. The kids love her and she is a huge help to me. I got to work out and shower on Monday. She also has given me two facials and the gift of some awesome facial care supplies. We are so happy to have her here and we may take her captive so she can never leave us.

We continue to pray and wait to see what the Lord is going to do in our lives. These last years have been us learning to wait. We are still very tired. Last night I was thinking I guess I want to be very tired every night as I go to bed. His mercies are new every morning. I often go to bed discouraged and in the morning when I look out the window and see a hint of sun, I feel His mercies and His strength as I face another day.

Jake is getting ready to leave and all the children are crying so I better go. I need to get them excited to spend the day with mommy. Aunt Liz and Joseph are planning a lunch party for Joseph's new cousins.

love love

J

answering questions

am going to answer some questions I have gotten through the process.

ARE YOU GLAD THAT YOU ADOPTED?

Yes, beyond glad, blessed and so thankful. It started out as something I so badly wanted to do and through the years it became something in my heart that God called us to do.

WHAT HAS BEEN THE HARDEST THING?

The trip to Ethiopia was very hard due to very little sleep. Facing fears!! There are many hard things but any mother understands that. The language barrier has been difficult at times but it causes us to act out our words of love so it is good. Every hardship God has used to grow us to depend on HIm more. so we are thankful for all the hardships that have come with our growing family.

WHAT HAS BEEN THE BEST THING?

The trip to Ethiopia was a time of such dependance on the Lord and that was the best thing, so it was the hardest and the best. I do believe that if you want to experience God you have to go onto the Calvary road. The flesh I live in desires comfort and this world but the Spirit within me desires death to my flesh and to leave this world behind. Of course it has been amazing to just sit back and think about all the Lord has done and to hold the children now and to see how our family is molding together, amazing!! Seeing all five children play together is pure joy to my heart. Adanech and Marya act like they have always been sisters.

ARE YOU GOING TO ADOPT AGAIN?

I hope so!! When we went to the transition home to get our children we also got to meet other children there. A couple of boys that remembered Jake from being there before ran and got the pictures he had drawn them and the paper airplanes and showed him how they had taken care of them. They were in perfect condition. Children would come up to me and ask mommy? Many of the older girls in Adanech's room were sick and looked at me with sad empty eyes. I wanted to hold all of their hands and say I will be your mommy. One particular girl was laying in bed, she looked about 10 years old, her eyes were very very red and she had a fever. I put my hand on her head and she smiled at me and my heart broke for her. Adanech asked if we could adopt all of her friends. Our desire and love for adoption has only grown. Our love for Christ has only grown. I do believe that all through scripture He shows how important adoption is to HIm. With all that said we will see what The Lord has in store for this family.

ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE ANY MORE CHILDREN BY BIRTH?

We do not plan to but we are always open to what the Lord has. We try not to plan out our lives.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE?

We have not sold our house in AL yet. We are not sure where the Lord is going to lead us. We are trying to learn contentment and to wait on the Lord for his timing. Pray, pray, pray, wait wait wait, that is what we are doing. We are beyond blessed to be living in my parents guest house right now. Jake and I are wanting to be involved in adoption and orphan care wherever we live.

love love

Jen

updates

So I just put up all the updates from our trip on the blog. They may be a little out of order. I will try to do one at a time from now on. Read if you want.

Three weeks

Tomorrow we will have had our new children for three weeks. My days are filled with hearing more mommys then I know what to do with, many hugs, many kisses, many prayers, many fears, many moments of discipline. I have never been more tired in my life. I find myself counting down the hours to bedtime, and wondering how many years until I will have a moment to myself. Then I also have moments of more joy then I know what to do with, like when I see Addie giving Marya a piggy back ride and they are both laughing or Ezra and Petros giving each other kisses on the cheek and hugs or hearing Abreham tell Jake he loves him just out of the blue. It is a battle each day between my flesh that is so tired and the Spirit that lives within me that is overjoyed to be a mommy of five. I say when you get married you start to see how selfish you are and then when you have a child and then two and then when you jump to five you learn really about sacrifice and love. Jake and I struggling through what to do next. We have not sold our house in Alabama yet so we are still working on that. We are asking God to give us a clear call and that we would be obedient no matter the cost.

Today was our first time to all be at church together. Addie and Abreham were scared but we got through it and Petros gave everyone a kiss that he could. so thankful for the church family here!!!!!

Adanech-she has been rebelling against the English language and then all of a sudden today she was putting words together with a big smile. she is having the hardest time with the transition. Yesterday I was putting lotion on her legs after a bath and I was looking at her and telling her how much I loved her and how brave and strong she is and she just stared at me with big tears in her eyes. She has not let me in completely yet but I am praying for a day where she will trust me. I will continue to pursue her wounded heart and to love her even when she chooses to ignore me.

Marya-still is doing wonderful. She picks up more Amharic every day and loves to play with all of them. She learns from Adanech and loves to run and play with Abreham and loves to kiss on Petros and make him laugh. Her and Ezra remain very close. We caught Marya praying on her knees in her room by herself asking God to save her and change her heart and that she wanted HIm to always be with her. She still continues to get the most spanks but I love her passion.

Abreham-he is doing awesome!!!!! He still pouts and throughs fits but he is a different boy. With discipline and love he has come so far. Now we have not arrived but I am so thankful for the progress. His smile sure lights up a room. He could seriously ride a bike all day long. He does great in the cold. He use to be afraid of our dog Kota but he is getting pretty friendly with him. His cough also seems to be improving little by little. Praise the Lord!!

Ezra-my sweet little boy who seems a little lost in all this. He is doing so well with everyone but every once in a while he wants some alone snuggle time with mama and I will take it. He still says, mom, my just love you. Each day the three boys interact more together and laugh and fight just like brothers do, I love it. In fact Ezra had a bloody noise tonight a fat lip and bruised forehead. I nee to be ready to go to the ER at anytime.

Petros-we call him little Bill Cosby, he is too funny. He loves everyone, gives kisses and makes funny faces. He is responding very well to discipline and he gives lots and lots of love. He is growing and getting stronger and can hold the head up better every day. He usually always has a smile on his face and is such a joy. He brings many laughs in the midst of craziness. Sometimes I sit and am so overwhelmed and I want to cry and then here comes little Bill to make me laugh.

Jake and I are very tired, but God is faithful and we will continue this journey one day at a time. Jake is still the best dad ever and the kids adore him. Adanech often wants Jake to hold her like a little girl and it is so sweet. He is amazing. by God's grace we get through each day.

love love

Jen

Abreham

So Abreham has continued with his coughing fits and yesterday Jake took him to the doctor again and got him to cough for them by tickling him and they say he has a severe case of asthma. They also said it is so bad that he could die from it if not treated right. It makes sense to me because there have been times with his coughing that I thought we might loose him it was so bad. so yesterday he started some stuff for it and hopefully he improves in the next 10 days and then we go back to the doctor again. I am so thankful to know what it is.

I am really amazed that these children are still alive. I look forward to the day that Adanech can better speak with us about her life. We have dentist appointments coming up. Adanech and Abreham have horrible rotting teeth that hurt them when they eat. I hope to get that taken care of for them.

Marya is learning some Amharic, it is so cute. Today in the bath Adanech was teaching Marya a song in Amharic. Yesterday I did some school with all of them and Petros laid his head in Ezra's lap the whole time, it was really cute. People warned us about adopting three at once and adopting out of birth order but I am just thrilled at how they are all doing. Yes there are hardships but God is working through all of them.

It is so hard for me to express all the Lord has done in just a short 21/2 weeks.

Romans 12:1-2

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

wonderful!!

There is a song, Praise the Name of Jesus that Jake and I have sang to the kids over and over again and especially Abreham during his coughing fits and after his screaming fits or during them. Well last night I was picking up and ABreham came and stood by me and started to sing it with a very sweet smile. He has a very mischievous smile but this was sweet. It was so beautiful!!!! Then last night as we were putting the kids to bed ABreham told us he loved us and so did Adanech and that was the first time for both of them. IT was a very wonderful day yesterday. Thank you for your prayers. Already yesterday I thought what were like before we were 7, it all just feels right.

love

Jen

We made it home

We made it home!!! The trip was just over 30 hours and beyond difficult. The flying was the easy part, it was all the lines we had to stand in for immigration and security which we had to do many times. It was wonderful to be around other adoptive families so we could encourage each other. I really thought about falling on the ground and screaming at one point. Adanech helped so much, carrying stuff and staying right by us. Adanech and Petros traveled so well and the Lord gave us strength to work with Abreham. We are still going on very little sleep. When we got home the kids were out and would not wake up and got up at 2 am ready to go last night. We got them to lay back down . I am hoping that tonight we will get a goods night sleep. Marya has been amazing with the children. She ran to them hugged them. She is always taking Adanech by the hand and showing her things. They took baths together this morning and it was pretty cute. IT is hard for me to fully be here when I am so tired. My body shakes because I am so tired and my emotions are all over the place. IT goes like this, fear, fear, can't do this, yes God called me to this, fear, anxiety, trust, trust, fear, and some more fear. Those are kind of my thoughts. some funny things. Ezra said, that boy has dark hands. We use charades a lot with the new children so Marya has started to use it a lot and it is so funny.

Please pray for Adanech. Before we left for the airport she cried so hard it made her vomit. She wanted to see her birth mom. The women at the guest house encouraged Jake and I some more and talked with Adanech. There was not a dry eye around. I have never cried so many tears in my life. Once again Jake just jumped right in and held me and Adanech as we both cried our eyes out. Abreham could not wait to go with us and to fly but he sure does not want the limits we are giving him. Marya was great training for this!! I have said many times that her toddler time was training for something else. Petros is doing great. He of course is like any toddler and needs a lot of help but he is happy and loving all the time. The transition will be easiest on him. I am sooooooo thankful for the prayers. I have never faced something so difficult in my life emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. It has been the biggest battle of my life and it is just getting started. I just have to say again how wonderful Marya has been. she is giving them everything she has and tells them how much she loves them all the time. In the night when Adanech was up she asked for Marya, it was really sweet. I think I will try to let them sleep together tonight.

Please pray for peace. Right now it is like having three strangers in your house that do not trust you or respect your limits. Pray for an attachment to come fast for all of us. I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. The task ahead of us is very overwhelming. We have to constantly remind ourselves and each other that we were called to do this.

love

Jen

One week home

So one week ago today we were preparing for our 30 some hour flight. The Lord really carried us through that one. We all seem to be getting better rest. Everyone is sleeping great!!!

Adanech-is being strong. Every day she has her cry time and ignores us but she lets us hold her and rock her until she can smile again. It is hard for her to let us take care of her brothers. She loves to learn. I wish you could of seen her face the first time she rode a bike, jumped on the tramp, sat on a swing and went down a slide. I have never seen someone squeal in such delight. She is not all that crazy about the food here yet but she is trying it all. She loves spagehetti!! It is hard for her not to be able to communicate with us better. She was very verbal in Ethiopia so I am excited for to get to talk more in the futures.

Abreham-is still very loving and very disobedient. Each day he seems to get more comfortable with the limits and love them. He loves puzzles and does the same one over and over again. He wants to ride the trike outside all day and has the best time giving the other children rides on it but if you ask him to share it turns into a huge fit.. He loves to eat anything we put in front of him. He always thinks he needs more food and is very happy when his plate is full. His coughing is improving daily. Clean water and clean air does wonders for them.

Petros-is the funniest little guy, he has us laughing all the time. He loves everyone in the house and seems to really be attaching to Jake and I. He grows in strength each day. He was very weak when we first got him but he is getting around better all the time. He also eats anything we put in front of him. When we tell him that we love him he says it back and wants to give many kisses.

Marya-is doing so great with the transition. When Adanech cries she wants to hug her. She does a great job communicating with them and doing charades. YEsterday I had to take ADanech to the doctor and Marya wanted to come along. When they were in the car they had their arms around each other. Marya is very adaptable and is just doing great!!! She also interacts with ABreham and Petros a lot.

Ezra-he is doing great. Each day he interacts with the boys more. Adanech also likes to take care of him. Ezra often just follows ABreham around and they are pretty cute. Last night Petros and EZra were wrestling around on the bed together. I love Ezra's spirit, he is just such a joy to have around.

Jake-is amazing!!!!!!! His unconditional love is awesome and the kids can see it. I love love to watch it. He is right in it all, hands on. He is loving having five children!!

EAch day gets better for me. I remember the call more and more clearly. Each day I take it less personally when the kids through fits, or ignore us. I learn to love through it. To pursue them as Christ pursues us. Each day we feel more like a family. There is still a lot of fear but God is so faithful to show me my sin and to bring repentance. There have been moments and hours when I have though what are doing, what have we done, I cannot do this, this is just too hard. When I go to the scripture and see the truth all the fears go away, the excitement to follow Jesus no matter the cost returns. This life of complete dependance on God is just where He wants us. I have never seen the gospel more clearly then I do right now. I have never seen the beauty of the cross as I do right now. To see Christ in a greater light is the greatest gift ever!!!

love

Jen

day four in Ethiopia

WE had a lovely morning today. WE had another rough night with Abreham, Anthony came to our room and prayed scripture with us. AFter his coughing spell he went back to sleep for the night and I got five hours of sleep and felt like I could run a marathon. Abreham got up early and wanted to lay with Jake and I and touch our faces and hug us. It was a very sweet moment but once we were all up the struggle began. God has been faithful.
WE had our visa appointment today and it all went great we finalized everything. Adanech and Petros were great and ABreham started to through a fit but we got through it. Adanech told one of the ladies how bad ABreham has been and Abreham was embaressed. Yoseph translated today for us as we talked to the children about our love and commitment to them and that included discipline. IT was a great talke with tears and many hugs with Adanech. She said she is happy to come with us. ABreham was very pouty when we talked about obedience but he eventually wanted to hug and kiss us.
Petros is sooooo funny!!!!!!!!!! We laugh at him all day. HE can barely walk with the backpack we got him but he wants to wear it all the time. He has started to call me MommyA which means my mommy. IT is really sweet. He split his head open at the Embassy today but he is one brave little boy. It is interesting to be in a country with sick children and children that get hurt but no where to go for help. Wait that is so wrong, we got to Christ!!! Adanech and ABreham went to the a doctor today and their lungs are clear. I think a lot of ABreham is experiencing is spiritual. We will continue to fight with the word of God.
AT the visa appointment they asked us, do you understand when you sign this there is not turning back and no returning the children ever. For a moment I wanted to run for my life of comfort but God held me steady and as I was signing Petros leaned in and gave me a big kiss on the cheek. I sure needed that at that moment and then he proceded to kiss me many times after that and rub his snaut all over me.
I will probably not be able to write tomorrow. We hope to fly out at 10:55 tommorrow night. PLease pray that we leave on time. IT is an 18 hour flight. The children travel well and sit well. THey have been taught that at the orphanage. WE need many prayers tomorrow.
ONce again thank you for the encouraging words, it has gotten me through very difficult times. I cannot wait to see you all and for you to meet our children. WE have seen miracles this week.
love love
Jen

day three in Ethiopia

irst of all thank you so much for the encouraging words. They have helped more then you will ever know.
Please pray for Abreham he is still coughing so hard he gets sick. Last night we were up a lot with him, which means very little sleep for us still. We also had to battle another horrible fit with him today. Jake held him for an hour while he screamed at the top of his lungs and I cried and prayed. When it was over he wanted Jake and tears were just rolling down his face. Abreham is very strong willed and once again very loving. THe women here just keep encouraging us, it is very sweet. They see me cry a lot and try to encourage me to hang in there and that it will get better. The days and nights go very very slowly. I am praying for sleep tonight but preparing for a bad night with Abreham again. I called Dr. Berry in the middle of the night here and he gave me some suggestions we will try tonight. What a blessing to have a doctor as a friend!!!
So today while Abreham was throwing a fit there was nothing cute about it. HE was pushing,screaming had horrible breath and God reminded me as I was sitting and crying and wondering how i will ever do this and how will we get through this. He so kindly reminded me that this is what I look like to HIm without the blood of Christ and that i am called to love Abreham at this very moment. I am trying to keep the gospel at the forefront of my mind so I remember why we are here. Also that this is not about me, it is about the chidren and it is very hard for them. I must take my eyes off my discomfort and look towards Christ at every moment and then think of the children.
Adanech is so sweet and motherly. She cleans all the time and picks up after me. She does not like it when I cry, she is compassionate. She is also very good at helping us translate with the boys. She is a HUGE help!!
Petros is very very funny and very ready for discipline. He is very social and very strong willed also. I am planning on the next 4-6 months being very difficult for me but not difficult for Christ. I am excited to get some sleep and get my feet under me. It has been hard for me to eat but I always feel better when I do.
Anthony and Hannah have been the biggest help. They have supported us and I don't how we would of done this without them. They love on the children. God knew that we would need them here with us. Adanech is sitting by me right now just smiling at me and chewing her gum. She likes seeing me write her name.
Jake has been amazing. I wish you could all see him handle each trial with patience and great love. As he holds Abreham whether throwing a fit or coughing or vomitting, he just keeps telling him he loves him and that he is safe with him. Very very beautiful. I love, love seeing this.
WE have two more days here and two more nights. I am very excited to get home. PLease continue to pray for our travels.
love love
Jen

meeting the children

We arrived in Ethiopia MOnday morning very very tired. WE went to get the kids that afternoon. IT was a beautiful union for us. The kids recognized me right away and started calling me mommy. They were very happy to see Jake and they are very attached to him already. Of course I cried and have not stopped crying.Adanech and ABreham gave me hugs right away and let me hold them, Petros just wanted Papa for a while but he warmed up. My fear overwhelms me but I fight it with scripture through out the day and night. I have gotten very little sleep. all the kids have bad coughs and ABreham has coughed so hard that it has made him vomit twice, but i sure have experience with that. They are not used to anyone helping them with anything.
Today has been a very emotional day. ADanech has been sad for her birth mom but God answered my prayer. She let me hold her and we cried together adn I continue to cry for her. I told her how much I love her and she seemed to understand that I cry with her and for her, she hugged me tight. ABreham is very loving and loves to just look at you and touch your face, very very sweet. Today though he was demanding from Jake and Yoseph told Abreham that he needed to say please and that started a two hour screaming fit with no break and some vomit in between. WE won the battle he said please and hugged and hugged a lot. Petros is a ham and says mommy and papa all the time. HE is also fit thrower but we expected all this. They are used to getting their way so they don't cry or through fits. Abreham said, I will say please from now on. They talk about Marya and EZra all the time. I cannot wait for us all to be united as a family. ANthony and Hannah have been more then helpful. Also the ladies at the guest house have encouraged Jake and I to stick it out. THey said let him cry all day but do not give him what he wants. Pray for our strength. Jake has been my pillar of strength. I hold his hand constantly and encourages me every step of the way. Liz, your prayers are being answered.
I am very very tired and very emotional. I miss EZra and Marya so badly I cannot sleep. God has been faithful!! I continue to cry out to him as I lay awake battling my sin of distrust. Jake is at the doctor with all three children right now. tHey have to have one last check before travel. WE have three more nights here. THey are talking of letting the birth mom say one last good by. May God's will be done. I am very very weak but God is continuing to show me how desperatley I need him.
Thank you so much for your prayers. I love you all.
A very desperate servant of Christ
Jen

older children

When I would dream of adopting I would dream about adopting an infant. I would think in my mind I really want to adopt but I will just stay to adopting infants, it will be easier that way. I can still do this but play it safe. Those were my thoughts. Now we are adopting three older children. As we really got into it the Lord really moved in our hearts to not plan but to let Him move and to let Him choose our children. When we got the call that the boys had an older sister, I was excited but scared at the same time. Could I be the mother she needed?? I felt the Lord telling me, when I adopted you into my family you were not an infant. You were older and very set in your ways. Sanctification has been hard work. So if you are going to answer the call to adoption do not put limits on it. With that said the fear was not completely gone but I new what we must do, we must answer this call. I am so glad we did. What a time of growth!!!!!!! With that said I feel liberated to not fear the unknown. Knowing that God will fully equip us for what is ahead. It will be hard, harder then we could imagine. I am standing on the promise that He will never leave us or forsake us. I will call on His name and He will hear me. I will beg Him for wisdom each day and draw strength from the Word. I am just so thankful that Lord takes time to change a heart like mine. How exciting that He will change our fleshly desires if we ask Him to. God is not meant to be put in a box.