I have been thinking so much lately on the adoption of older children. What is so hard about it? Why is it so hard? Why do so many run from it? So many questions so many thoughts. So many statements people have said to me that break my heart. Here are some of my thoughts.
As I dreamed of adopting from an early age I dreamed of adopting one baby at a time. Hearing so often how hard it is to adopt older children I never even considered doing it myself. Little did I know, God was knowing my thoughts and knowing that HE was going to change everything my little mind was thinking. So here I am today and have adopted three older children. God is so good and so faithful and knows exactly what we need. I am so thankful to be on this journey.
Redemption-deliverance;rescue
Questions and statements I have thought on and want to write about.
Is it easy to bond with an older child? Have you bonded with your new children?
So much bonding happens in infancy when you are holding and cuddling and feeding. It is an entire new ball game when you adopt an older child that is not as cute as a baby has bad breath when they scream in your face and are mean often. What do you do, you just keep loving and by loving i mean tons of affection and tons of discipline. And when you are annoyed and your heart is broken you just keep loving. When you do not want to hug them, you hug them. And when your feelings are hurt, you pursue them as Christ pursues us. And in that bonding happens for both sides. Christ has shown us so much about our rejection of Him and how He continues to scoop us up and pursue us with the purest love. THank you Jesus! Redemption. And in this the miracles start to happen the bonds start to come and you learn about unconditional love that makes your heart ache so deeply it is hard to breath.
I have heard often, I would never adopt older children. That is a hard one to swallow gracefully, but I understand the fear. I understand that fear of the behavioral issues and the trauma and the hardship. I do live them every day, but I also live the miracles and I don't want to be anywhere else. I understand the fear I feel it so deep there are times I cannot sleep. But in those times I call out to Jesus because no movie no food no friend or family will bring peace just my dear Savior. He will bring peace and I will know Him more and I will love HIm more. He knows my fears and He destroys my fears with His truth. I say adopting older children is hard but parenting is hard whether you ever adopt or not. When Christ adopts His children they are not perfect little sweet babies we are full of issues that he patiently parents us through and disciplines us and loves us. He is consistent and loves us unconditionally. What a wonderful Father. Thank you Jesus! Redemption.
I have often heard, I would never adopt out of birth order. Once again I understand that statement. Without a doubt this is what God had for our family and although I would not have ever chosen this, God did and I am so thankful. My goal is to teach my children that their identity is not in birth order or skin color or talents but in Jesus Christ. God has poured out his mercy and grace on this very issue. THank you Jesus? Redemption.
Will you guys ever adopt again? I hope so. That is up to the Lord.
People have said, Can you believe how hard this is? Can you believe these are the children you cried and prayed for so long before you got them. Yes they are and I would cry and pray for them all over again even knowing what I know now. God kept me awake at night the entire process giving me a reality check to what we were committing to. The spiritual battle began long before I held them in my arms. I don't desire freedom from this calling. My only desire is to know Jesus more and that is coming through some great struggles. Thank you Jesus! Redemption.
I cannot tell you the joy in my heart when Petros tells everyone we meet that I am his mama. Some of you may have a hard time imagining what our family is like. Well we are just a family. Those of you that know us and have spent time with us know that we are just a family.
This was a very difficult weekend with Adanech. And as we were working through so much and I was hurt and angry, angry at her past, angry at her birth parents, angry at her behavior, angry at my frustrated self. But as Jake and I prayed together and with her my heart softened and as I held Adanech in my arms and prayed with her I kept thinking, Thank you Jesus. Thank you for allowing us to be her parents. Thank you for pushing me in this way. Thank you for teaching me to love in a way I didn't think was possible. Thank you for rescuing Adanech. Thank you Jesus! Redemption.
I cannot help but think on how Christ has rescued me and delivered me. I am overwhelmed with His love and His sacrifice. I would not know it like I know it now had we not walked this journey. I want to know it even more. I firmly believe that we find Christ when we suffer with Him. I have never experienced God in this way in comfort or safety. Give us courage Lord to step out of the boat.
Now with all that said, that children have come so far. My angry, manipulative, traumatized Adanech is learning to be truthful and she smiles almost all the time. she loves hugs and loves to give them. Although she has so much pain, she is learning to love and accept love. My screaming scared naughty Abreham, is so loving and giving and never screams with fits anymore. He is often scared but a few hugs from mom and dad and he is peaceful. He just needs to be reminded that he is our son. My sick sick Petros is healthy and moving forward in every way. He loves so much!!! God has done so many miracles and in faith I believe that He will continue to heal the hurting hearts of my babies. Thank you Jesus! REDEMPTION.
love love
Jen
Monday, November 28, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
He whispers, it is all for Me.
Finally!! I am writing an update, it has been over six months I think. Many joys and sorrows in the last months.
Adanech- My oldest, my beautiful, my daughter that daily takes me to hard places and makes me cry out to God for His wisdom. As Addie has grown to trust us more she has shared more about her past and it is full of extreme trauma. It scares me, it breaks my heart and as her mother I carry her pain and it drives me to my knees. She still struggles with authority and trust and she is a full time job and I am often very frustrated, but God has given her to me and I trust Him. I say out loud often throughout the day, sanctify me Lord. I often hold her face and say I am committed to you and you are my daughter, there is nothing you can do to change that. The fear is overwhelming and at times I truly believe the lie that I cannot do this and Jesus whispers, it is all for me. This is not for you and this is not even for her, this is for Me.
Marya- I remember as a child when I would be giving my mom a hard time she would say, someday you may have a daughter like you and you will know how I feel. I would think, great that will be awesome! Well..............???? I do have a daughter like me and she is hard hard hard and I do love her. She loves hard, she gets angry quick, full of drama and loves the outdoors and animals!! She wears me out!! She is still very patient with her sister as I daily have to spend much time shepherding her heart. She is encouraging to her. I had to explain slavery to Adanech for the first time and both girls teared up. Marya ran to Addie and said, you are my sister forever and I love you so much. I love that you are brown, you will never be a slave. It made Addie smile through her tears as she was trying to figure out why anyone would be a slave based on color. I struggle with fear as I think of raising Marya to adulthood, but Jesus whispers, this is for me.
Abreham- So much progress with this little guy, who started our life together kicking and screaming. He is moving forward emotionally and he has no anxiety with food at all anymore. He still loves loves to run and play outside. We still have far to go but I love watching him heal. We watched video from Ethiopia this last week and we have some of him screaming and he says, mom I do not like that. He is very difficult in school, meaning he has a very hard time understanding and remembering and listening and I spend most days trying to stay calm and patient while I want to rip my own hair out with frustration. And then Jesus whispers, it is all for me. This is not for your enjoyment, this is for My glory alone.
Ezra- Just as I write his name I start to tear up. He is such a joy in the midst of all of this. He is sweet and quiet and does not demand. He comes quietly to me and hugs me and kisses my cheek. He will say mom, I love you. It is like he can tell when I am struggling. He is also so funny and just like Jake, peaceful and corny!! He loves school and smiles as he learns new things. He dresses in very funny things and I love just letting him do his thing. He is obviously not perfect but overloads me with joy each day, I cannot get enough of him. Jesus whispers, this is for me. Find your joy in Me!!
Petros- Oh Petros, what do I write about this boy!? He continues to grow and get big and he is so heavy. He loves people and is very affectionate and each day looks at me and says mom, me love you, mom, you pretty. His speech is getting a little better but it is still very hard to understand. He still falls all the time but seems to be getting stronger and to be able to run faster. He also just lately has very little anxiety with food, which is huge because he had so much anxiety at every mealtime. He is still delayed but he is a miracle. I get frustrated as I want him to move forward more quickly but it is going to take a lot of time and patience and sanctifying on my part and Jesus whispers, this is for me.
Jesus whispers, I love you enough to daily push you to death of yourself. Death to my flesh, death to my selfishness, death so I can find true joy and contentment in my Savior. This road is so hard and I am constantly falling on my face, it is not pretty what is coming out of my heart. Some nights when I am tearful and scared and wanting to run from all of it (especially homeschooling) I remember my dream of living a life that was daily pushing me to total abandonment of being a mother to the motherless. To willingly walk into very dark dark places with my children that hurt so bad. To choose to love them even when I do not like them. To be able to see God work because I know that this is an impossible task for me. I am selfish, unorganized, def not a teacher, so I get to see God do miracles!! As scared as I get and as tired as I get, I would rather be doing this then not doing this, if that makes sense.
Jake, is still the most amazing father. He is a champ each day and is so full of grace and love. our children adore him and he is making a difference in their lives. Leading them to Christ and teaching them His truth and love, not only through his words, but his life. Jake also loves that he has five kids that are always laughing at his jokes!! Jake and I continue to fight for a Godly marriage and I mean fight for it. We got to go to Lake Tahoe for our ten year anniversary with our good friends Josh and Katie Reynolds. We got married in the same month and were in each others weddings. We had a great time and it was good for us and a good break from the kids. We split the kids up to three different places.
As Jake and i struggle in our marriage and continue on in the fight, Jesus whispers, this marriage is for me. I sit back as I write that and take a deep breath. It is so peaceful to remind myself of this truth. My life is not my own, my children are not mine and my marriage is not mine. I can trust the One that is worthy of all our worship.
love love
Jen
Adanech- My oldest, my beautiful, my daughter that daily takes me to hard places and makes me cry out to God for His wisdom. As Addie has grown to trust us more she has shared more about her past and it is full of extreme trauma. It scares me, it breaks my heart and as her mother I carry her pain and it drives me to my knees. She still struggles with authority and trust and she is a full time job and I am often very frustrated, but God has given her to me and I trust Him. I say out loud often throughout the day, sanctify me Lord. I often hold her face and say I am committed to you and you are my daughter, there is nothing you can do to change that. The fear is overwhelming and at times I truly believe the lie that I cannot do this and Jesus whispers, it is all for me. This is not for you and this is not even for her, this is for Me.
Marya- I remember as a child when I would be giving my mom a hard time she would say, someday you may have a daughter like you and you will know how I feel. I would think, great that will be awesome! Well..............???? I do have a daughter like me and she is hard hard hard and I do love her. She loves hard, she gets angry quick, full of drama and loves the outdoors and animals!! She wears me out!! She is still very patient with her sister as I daily have to spend much time shepherding her heart. She is encouraging to her. I had to explain slavery to Adanech for the first time and both girls teared up. Marya ran to Addie and said, you are my sister forever and I love you so much. I love that you are brown, you will never be a slave. It made Addie smile through her tears as she was trying to figure out why anyone would be a slave based on color. I struggle with fear as I think of raising Marya to adulthood, but Jesus whispers, this is for me.
Abreham- So much progress with this little guy, who started our life together kicking and screaming. He is moving forward emotionally and he has no anxiety with food at all anymore. He still loves loves to run and play outside. We still have far to go but I love watching him heal. We watched video from Ethiopia this last week and we have some of him screaming and he says, mom I do not like that. He is very difficult in school, meaning he has a very hard time understanding and remembering and listening and I spend most days trying to stay calm and patient while I want to rip my own hair out with frustration. And then Jesus whispers, it is all for me. This is not for your enjoyment, this is for My glory alone.
Ezra- Just as I write his name I start to tear up. He is such a joy in the midst of all of this. He is sweet and quiet and does not demand. He comes quietly to me and hugs me and kisses my cheek. He will say mom, I love you. It is like he can tell when I am struggling. He is also so funny and just like Jake, peaceful and corny!! He loves school and smiles as he learns new things. He dresses in very funny things and I love just letting him do his thing. He is obviously not perfect but overloads me with joy each day, I cannot get enough of him. Jesus whispers, this is for me. Find your joy in Me!!
Petros- Oh Petros, what do I write about this boy!? He continues to grow and get big and he is so heavy. He loves people and is very affectionate and each day looks at me and says mom, me love you, mom, you pretty. His speech is getting a little better but it is still very hard to understand. He still falls all the time but seems to be getting stronger and to be able to run faster. He also just lately has very little anxiety with food, which is huge because he had so much anxiety at every mealtime. He is still delayed but he is a miracle. I get frustrated as I want him to move forward more quickly but it is going to take a lot of time and patience and sanctifying on my part and Jesus whispers, this is for me.
Jesus whispers, I love you enough to daily push you to death of yourself. Death to my flesh, death to my selfishness, death so I can find true joy and contentment in my Savior. This road is so hard and I am constantly falling on my face, it is not pretty what is coming out of my heart. Some nights when I am tearful and scared and wanting to run from all of it (especially homeschooling) I remember my dream of living a life that was daily pushing me to total abandonment of being a mother to the motherless. To willingly walk into very dark dark places with my children that hurt so bad. To choose to love them even when I do not like them. To be able to see God work because I know that this is an impossible task for me. I am selfish, unorganized, def not a teacher, so I get to see God do miracles!! As scared as I get and as tired as I get, I would rather be doing this then not doing this, if that makes sense.
Jake, is still the most amazing father. He is a champ each day and is so full of grace and love. our children adore him and he is making a difference in their lives. Leading them to Christ and teaching them His truth and love, not only through his words, but his life. Jake also loves that he has five kids that are always laughing at his jokes!! Jake and I continue to fight for a Godly marriage and I mean fight for it. We got to go to Lake Tahoe for our ten year anniversary with our good friends Josh and Katie Reynolds. We got married in the same month and were in each others weddings. We had a great time and it was good for us and a good break from the kids. We split the kids up to three different places.
As Jake and i struggle in our marriage and continue on in the fight, Jesus whispers, this marriage is for me. I sit back as I write that and take a deep breath. It is so peaceful to remind myself of this truth. My life is not my own, my children are not mine and my marriage is not mine. I can trust the One that is worthy of all our worship.
love love
Jen
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Gotcha Day Video
We just celebrated our one year with the kids. The video says it all.
Click Here to Watch
Click Here to Watch
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Marya turns six
quick note about Marya. She turned 6 today and last night as I was getting ready for bed I was just thinking over the last year with her. I have wrote a lot about what the Lord has done in Addie, Abreham and Petros's life. But he has equally worked in Marya and Ezra's life. As I thought back about Marya I just wanted to cry. God has grown her and changed her so much. Since we got home last Feb with our three new children Marya has had to totally be in the background. We have spent so much time working with the new children, hours upon hours of talks, hugs, discipline, tears, so so much. So much extra work for them in school, in everything we do they need extra attention right now. There has been a cost to adopt these children and it has not only been for Jake and I. May I say though it is a cost that we counted and stepped into knowing that it was God who would do this. Marya has so beautifully taken an encouraging role. Enouraging them when they are afraid, upset, sad, working through hard stuff. She has not demanded from me. She wakes up with a smile and goes to bed with a smile. Now she is still a crazy wild little girl that is strong willed, but I am amazed at what God has done. Those of you that are close to us know how hard she has been for us. I spent a large part of her toddler life at home working on obedience and her spirit was hard to break. I barely remember Ezra's infancy because I spent most of it in the bathroom with Marya giving spanks. But through it all our love for each other grew and I am so thankful!!! Today I was remembering when she was born and how much I cried because I was so overwhelmed with love. I once called a nurse into my room while I was crying just to tell her how much I loved Marya. Today we thank God for all He has done in her life and in ours through her and we beg God for wisdom as we continue to raise this wild horse.
love love
Jen
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Adanech turns 9!!
Yesterday was a special day. To all of you that have gone on the journey with us I want to bring you back to the first day I saw a picture of Adanech. We were first matched with the boys and couple days later we were told they had an older sister and we needed to pray about doing all three or none. We accepted all three but that little girl scared me to death. I had never parented a 7 or 8 year old. How would I be a mom to a little girl with so much sadness and a little girl that would remember so much. How would I be a mother to a little girl that has a mother that she loves. As we accepted all three anxiety took over, I would be up at night literally shaking and sick with fear, fear of the unknown. I would sometimes be running and praying and I would feel God say, Jeni, this is going to be so hard, harder then anything you have ever done. You will have to give more of yourself then you ever have, and it will hurt, hurt real bad. I would cry and run and tell God, I will not give up God, I know that I cannot do this, but I am trusting that you will give me wisdom and equip me. I was so worn out from not trusting God, but slowly God was teaching me to trust him. Not trying to leave the boys out of this, I was just not as scared to be their mother. The truth of the word of God began a work in my heart as we got closer and closer to getting the children. I will never forget the first day with the children. I will never forget my first thought as Adanech walked towards me. I thought, oh my she is beautiful and she is so brave. She told me this month that when we came to get her she was very scared, but you never would of known. She walked right up to me and gave me a big hug. We were both scared. I cannot put into words how hard it has been, but without the hardness we would not be witnessing the miracle of God, in this little girl. She has come so far!!!
So, yesterday, it was just a day of beauty and a view of God's work in Adanech's life. She was so excited for this day, it would be the first time she celebrated her birthday. She said her mom in Ethiopia used to celebrate her birthday with bread, but they had no money for gifts. We started the morning with a trip to the beauty shop. Now I love Addie's natural hair, it is awesome, but she always talks about wanting it straight. So I took her to our favorite girl Sharmelle and she oiled that baby up and flat ironed it. Addie was speechless and so happy. She just kept running her fingers through her hair and saying, mom, my hair is like yours. Marya just kept telling her how beautiful if was but to make sure to tell her she loves it in braids too. We came home to the boys and they all told her how lovely she looked as she just smiled from ear to ear. Then Jake and I took her out to eat at an Ethiopian restaurant here. Ellie stayed back with the others, thank you Ellie! Jake opened her door and held her hand or had his arm around her while we walked. She was loving it. She loved her injera and was unusually speechless, she just kept smiling. When we were driving home she said, mom this is a very very good day, I never have a day like this before. Then Jake and I told her in Amharic that she was our daughter and that we loved her and she spoke back in Amharic and told us that we were her mother and father and that she loved us. Now we do this often but yesterday it was like she was saying it with a new trust for us. We have had some huge steps forward with her. She told us about a month ago crying, thank you for adopting me. She knows how much we love her and she is trusting us, so awesome. we then spent the afternoon cleaning and cooking her birthday dinner. She wanted me to cook minestrone with garlic bread. Our tradition is to have kids wine and share toasts about the person celebrating their birthday. So we took turns doing that, which is very funny and sweet. Then we had cake and opened presents. She was beyond thankful and went to bed beaming and thanking God for her family. It was a joy to watch this little girl today. I loved watching her brothers and and sister just love her and be so happy for her.
We gave all the kids Indian names
Adanech- Brave Willow, because she is so brave and elegant like a willow tree. She loves her name. She is my helper at home and cleans better then I do. The girls room is always clean and that is not because of Marya although Marya is learning a lot from her big sister about cleaning. Addie, is loving, loving school. If I would work with her all day she would do it. This little girl loves to pray and literally cries out to Jesus. She is mature beyond her years in so many ways and she is full of compassion. She senses when I am sad and wants to hug me and take care of me. She is going to be an amazing wife and mother someday.
Marya- Wild Horse, what else is there to say, she is wild and loves horses. This little girl is me!! She still gets the most spanks but the fruit in her life is amazing, God has been so faithful. She does school like me, fast and messy and doesn't mind doing it wrong. She is not a perfectionist. Her passion for life is sweet and so funny to watch. She feels things very deeply.
Abreham- Servant heart, do I need to say more. This boy is a gifted servant. he just beams as he helps anyone and everyone. He loves to help his little brothers and anyone else who asks. I have never seen anything like it. About a month ago this little boy wanted to tell me about the day he went to the orphanage. Which was strange because he never ever talks about stuff like that. So I said, yes son tell me. He then went on to tell me some very sad things with tears in his eyes. I picked him up from the table and took him out to the front porch away from everyone. I said, baby I am so sorry that you had to go through that, as I said that he started to wail and cry like I had never seen. I just held him until he was done. He sweetly then rubbed my arm as i assured him of our love for him and that he did not have to ever leave us. This little boy has a lot of pain in his heart and I am thankful that he is letting it out and letting me hold him as he does.
Ezra- Crooked Arrow, ok this little boy is out there. You never know what he is going to say and it is always so random. He is so funny. I also think he has the gift of encouragement. He often just randomly says the sweetest things. Like when Adanech comes down fro breakfast, Addie, you look pretty. Or if all the kids are racing he will be way behind the older kids and he will be yelling good job to the ones way up front and he just keeps smiling until he finishes and tells everyone good job. I love it. Ezra, loves school and surprisingly pays very good attention.
Petros- Smiles A lot, yes we took the name from Dances with Wolves, it just fits him too good. This boy smiles all day. No matter how sad or mad he is he quickly returns to a smile. This little boy has been lying a lot and been getting spanked a lot, it was really bad this last week so friday night me and the kids all sat around him and prayed for him and Petros was very touched by it, especially when Addie prayed while she was crying and Petros got tears in his eyes. Well yesterday we went a whole day without lying and it was so wonderful. His speech is still very hard to understand but every once in a while he says something so clearly. This guy is a comedy act!!
Jake, Ellie, and I continue to grow as a family. Ellie is such a blessing to have here. There are eight of us and each meal is big with a lot of work but hey our table is full of smiles, stories, laughing, tears, and most importantly the word of God. We are so blessed, the Lord has been faithful through each trial to teach us and refine us and push us along. We all are so excited for Thanksgiving, Benjah is coming, my mom and Grandma Edna, Seth and his wife Lindsey and our new friend Antwone, we are so looking forward to this time. We are already listening to Christmas music and loving it!! We all can't wait to visit the great state of Nebraska for Christmas.
love love
Jen
So, yesterday, it was just a day of beauty and a view of God's work in Adanech's life. She was so excited for this day, it would be the first time she celebrated her birthday. She said her mom in Ethiopia used to celebrate her birthday with bread, but they had no money for gifts. We started the morning with a trip to the beauty shop. Now I love Addie's natural hair, it is awesome, but she always talks about wanting it straight. So I took her to our favorite girl Sharmelle and she oiled that baby up and flat ironed it. Addie was speechless and so happy. She just kept running her fingers through her hair and saying, mom, my hair is like yours. Marya just kept telling her how beautiful if was but to make sure to tell her she loves it in braids too. We came home to the boys and they all told her how lovely she looked as she just smiled from ear to ear. Then Jake and I took her out to eat at an Ethiopian restaurant here. Ellie stayed back with the others, thank you Ellie! Jake opened her door and held her hand or had his arm around her while we walked. She was loving it. She loved her injera and was unusually speechless, she just kept smiling. When we were driving home she said, mom this is a very very good day, I never have a day like this before. Then Jake and I told her in Amharic that she was our daughter and that we loved her and she spoke back in Amharic and told us that we were her mother and father and that she loved us. Now we do this often but yesterday it was like she was saying it with a new trust for us. We have had some huge steps forward with her. She told us about a month ago crying, thank you for adopting me. She knows how much we love her and she is trusting us, so awesome. we then spent the afternoon cleaning and cooking her birthday dinner. She wanted me to cook minestrone with garlic bread. Our tradition is to have kids wine and share toasts about the person celebrating their birthday. So we took turns doing that, which is very funny and sweet. Then we had cake and opened presents. She was beyond thankful and went to bed beaming and thanking God for her family. It was a joy to watch this little girl today. I loved watching her brothers and and sister just love her and be so happy for her.
We gave all the kids Indian names
Adanech- Brave Willow, because she is so brave and elegant like a willow tree. She loves her name. She is my helper at home and cleans better then I do. The girls room is always clean and that is not because of Marya although Marya is learning a lot from her big sister about cleaning. Addie, is loving, loving school. If I would work with her all day she would do it. This little girl loves to pray and literally cries out to Jesus. She is mature beyond her years in so many ways and she is full of compassion. She senses when I am sad and wants to hug me and take care of me. She is going to be an amazing wife and mother someday.
Marya- Wild Horse, what else is there to say, she is wild and loves horses. This little girl is me!! She still gets the most spanks but the fruit in her life is amazing, God has been so faithful. She does school like me, fast and messy and doesn't mind doing it wrong. She is not a perfectionist. Her passion for life is sweet and so funny to watch. She feels things very deeply.
Abreham- Servant heart, do I need to say more. This boy is a gifted servant. he just beams as he helps anyone and everyone. He loves to help his little brothers and anyone else who asks. I have never seen anything like it. About a month ago this little boy wanted to tell me about the day he went to the orphanage. Which was strange because he never ever talks about stuff like that. So I said, yes son tell me. He then went on to tell me some very sad things with tears in his eyes. I picked him up from the table and took him out to the front porch away from everyone. I said, baby I am so sorry that you had to go through that, as I said that he started to wail and cry like I had never seen. I just held him until he was done. He sweetly then rubbed my arm as i assured him of our love for him and that he did not have to ever leave us. This little boy has a lot of pain in his heart and I am thankful that he is letting it out and letting me hold him as he does.
Ezra- Crooked Arrow, ok this little boy is out there. You never know what he is going to say and it is always so random. He is so funny. I also think he has the gift of encouragement. He often just randomly says the sweetest things. Like when Adanech comes down fro breakfast, Addie, you look pretty. Or if all the kids are racing he will be way behind the older kids and he will be yelling good job to the ones way up front and he just keeps smiling until he finishes and tells everyone good job. I love it. Ezra, loves school and surprisingly pays very good attention.
Petros- Smiles A lot, yes we took the name from Dances with Wolves, it just fits him too good. This boy smiles all day. No matter how sad or mad he is he quickly returns to a smile. This little boy has been lying a lot and been getting spanked a lot, it was really bad this last week so friday night me and the kids all sat around him and prayed for him and Petros was very touched by it, especially when Addie prayed while she was crying and Petros got tears in his eyes. Well yesterday we went a whole day without lying and it was so wonderful. His speech is still very hard to understand but every once in a while he says something so clearly. This guy is a comedy act!!
Jake, Ellie, and I continue to grow as a family. Ellie is such a blessing to have here. There are eight of us and each meal is big with a lot of work but hey our table is full of smiles, stories, laughing, tears, and most importantly the word of God. We are so blessed, the Lord has been faithful through each trial to teach us and refine us and push us along. We all are so excited for Thanksgiving, Benjah is coming, my mom and Grandma Edna, Seth and his wife Lindsey and our new friend Antwone, we are so looking forward to this time. We are already listening to Christmas music and loving it!! We all can't wait to visit the great state of Nebraska for Christmas.
love love
Jen
Monday, September 27, 2010
We made it to Virginia
We made it to Virginia!!
Jake drove two days with the boys and Kota. I flew with the girls. All the kids did great with the travel. some of you may not know that Jake's sister Ellie is living with us so we were so blessed to have Sheila and Buzz help her move here which in turn was very very helpful to us. I got a bad viral eye infection two weeks before we had to leave for VA and it was bad stuff. It continued into our time traveling and when we got here, it actually got worse. I had to go to the ER our first Sunday here and miss church. I was left with scaring on my cornea and was told that it was serious and that I may loose my sight. As I sat there in the doctors office I started to bawl and I thought of not seeing God's creation anymore, about not seeing my children's faces as they grew, thinking how soon could I learn braille so I could read the bible. I had a lot of thoughts just flying through my mind. The Lord impressed on my heart that even if the worst was to happen and I would loose my sight, that one day I would see His face. I clung to that as I went through a very scary week as we waited to see what would happen. I could not read, I could not drive and I could not really unpack. Sheila just jumped right in and helped so very much. The Lord knew we would need them with us during this time. So after some time my eyes have improved. My left eye is 20/30 and my right eye is 20/60. The specialist says it may take two months for my eyes to heal. There are other options if it does not improve. I am so thankful for the healing that has happened. Thank you to any of you that prayed for us. During this time I would say to God, this is too much. I would have times of peace and time of panic, but through it all God had a purpose. I had another chance to trust Him and to battle my sin of unbelief.
*Virginia is very beautiful. It has endless places to run, hike, and bike. Ellie and I have been exploring the trails.
*The church here is such a blessing. We had friends bringing us wonderful food during our struggles and it was such a blessing. Church has been great. WE are loving the preaching and the fellowship.
*We found a college student from Ethiopia to tutor Adanech and Abreham in Amharic, we are so excited. WE went to a park last Friday and there was an entire soccer field of guys from Ethiopia speaking Amharic and Addie and Abreham just lit up. Addie walked up to a couple girls and asked them if they were from Ethiopia and they said yes and got really excited and said we can tell you are too. They all started hugging and kissing on the children. Addie got to practice Amharic with the girls and they sang some together. Two of the girls kept thanking me for adopting the children, she got all teary eyed. She said, she could not believe that we adopted all three of them. Addie asked one of the girls, Did your mom put you in an orphanage? It broke my heart. We hope to see them again soon.
*We started home school and there really are no words to express the reality of the work ahead. AS we go through the days and we not only work on school, but character issues and talk about Christ in every situation. I think how I could not do that if they were away from me all day. I am not committing to home school until graduation. I will commit a semester at a time. We will see what the Lord does. Jake is doing a lot and he is such a better teacher then I am. Addie loves school and would go all day if we would do it with her. Marya loves school too and she gets the most spanks. Abreham, is a perfectionist and is very timid and hard on himself. He has come a long way in a short time though. I am also doing some stuff with Ezra and Petros too. They are so funny. Petros turned three this month and is growing and growing some more. I am getting the chance once again to trust God and face some sin that comes up as I am working with the kids.
HIGHLIGHTS
*Ellie has made us some amazing food!!!!
*the trees are starting to change color and it is amazing
*the Lord provided a home for us in a way that the only explanation is it was all Him
*The kids are transitioning beautifully
*The Lord is continuing to convict us and push us as a family
*Jake has many coffee shops to choose from
*There is an Ethiopian resturant here yum!!
love love
Jen
Jake drove two days with the boys and Kota. I flew with the girls. All the kids did great with the travel. some of you may not know that Jake's sister Ellie is living with us so we were so blessed to have Sheila and Buzz help her move here which in turn was very very helpful to us. I got a bad viral eye infection two weeks before we had to leave for VA and it was bad stuff. It continued into our time traveling and when we got here, it actually got worse. I had to go to the ER our first Sunday here and miss church. I was left with scaring on my cornea and was told that it was serious and that I may loose my sight. As I sat there in the doctors office I started to bawl and I thought of not seeing God's creation anymore, about not seeing my children's faces as they grew, thinking how soon could I learn braille so I could read the bible. I had a lot of thoughts just flying through my mind. The Lord impressed on my heart that even if the worst was to happen and I would loose my sight, that one day I would see His face. I clung to that as I went through a very scary week as we waited to see what would happen. I could not read, I could not drive and I could not really unpack. Sheila just jumped right in and helped so very much. The Lord knew we would need them with us during this time. So after some time my eyes have improved. My left eye is 20/30 and my right eye is 20/60. The specialist says it may take two months for my eyes to heal. There are other options if it does not improve. I am so thankful for the healing that has happened. Thank you to any of you that prayed for us. During this time I would say to God, this is too much. I would have times of peace and time of panic, but through it all God had a purpose. I had another chance to trust Him and to battle my sin of unbelief.
*Virginia is very beautiful. It has endless places to run, hike, and bike. Ellie and I have been exploring the trails.
*The church here is such a blessing. We had friends bringing us wonderful food during our struggles and it was such a blessing. Church has been great. WE are loving the preaching and the fellowship.
*We found a college student from Ethiopia to tutor Adanech and Abreham in Amharic, we are so excited. WE went to a park last Friday and there was an entire soccer field of guys from Ethiopia speaking Amharic and Addie and Abreham just lit up. Addie walked up to a couple girls and asked them if they were from Ethiopia and they said yes and got really excited and said we can tell you are too. They all started hugging and kissing on the children. Addie got to practice Amharic with the girls and they sang some together. Two of the girls kept thanking me for adopting the children, she got all teary eyed. She said, she could not believe that we adopted all three of them. Addie asked one of the girls, Did your mom put you in an orphanage? It broke my heart. We hope to see them again soon.
*We started home school and there really are no words to express the reality of the work ahead. AS we go through the days and we not only work on school, but character issues and talk about Christ in every situation. I think how I could not do that if they were away from me all day. I am not committing to home school until graduation. I will commit a semester at a time. We will see what the Lord does. Jake is doing a lot and he is such a better teacher then I am. Addie loves school and would go all day if we would do it with her. Marya loves school too and she gets the most spanks. Abreham, is a perfectionist and is very timid and hard on himself. He has come a long way in a short time though. I am also doing some stuff with Ezra and Petros too. They are so funny. Petros turned three this month and is growing and growing some more. I am getting the chance once again to trust God and face some sin that comes up as I am working with the kids.
HIGHLIGHTS
*Ellie has made us some amazing food!!!!
*the trees are starting to change color and it is amazing
*the Lord provided a home for us in a way that the only explanation is it was all Him
*The kids are transitioning beautifully
*The Lord is continuing to convict us and push us as a family
*Jake has many coffee shops to choose from
*There is an Ethiopian resturant here yum!!
love love
Jen
Saturday, August 14, 2010
moving
Hello all
We are moving to Virginia. Jake and I have struggled and prayed through this for a long, long time. Jake feels that our next step is to Virginia. I am looking forward to see what God is going to do in our lives.
ADANECH-we have made some huge strides this summer. The other day she woke up and said, mom I had a dream. She proceeded to tell me about her dream. She dreamed that we went to Ethiopia and I brought her to her birth mom and we all cried. She said I left her with her and that night she was crying for me and wanted me to come and get her. I have never wanted her to feel like she has to choose a mother that she loves more, but that dream showed me that she is starting to truly trust me and love me, it was so sweet. Addie learned how to ride a bike this summer. It was full of DRAMA!!! You have to understand that this girl can turn on the drama like you have never seen. She has learned to use drama to get her way and I am constantly trying to teach her that, that is not ok. So I looked at her and said I don't care if we have to stay up all night you will obey me and learn to ride this bike. I knew she was more then capable. So after a lot of screaming, spanking, and crying, she learned. the other kids were in bed. After she learned she got off her bike and came to me crying and was so thankful. I helped her shower and get ready for bed and she just kept saying she was so thankful. Through this whole episode we quoted scripture and prayed and I think it was a big break through for the both of us. God gave her to me for a very specific reason. I see it ever day!!!
MARYA-Last night we were out to eat and I had told the children not to get up. Well Marya got up and I explained that when we got home she was going to have to have a spank. So by the time we got home I was tired and she reminded me about the spank and I said I am not going to spank you, you did good the rest of the night. I have never said that before, just copped out on a spank. so after I said that Marya said with great passion in her voice, Mom you can not disobey God. He says that you have to spank me if I disobey. MOm, please don't disobey God you can't. You must obey him. I sat down on my bed and just started to cry. I said, baby you are right, you are so right. so I spanked her while I was crying and she hugged me and said,mom I love you so much. Please don't disobey God ever again. WOW!!!!! God taught me a lot through that.
ABREHAM-The other night he was brushing his teeth in my bathroom and he looked at me and said, mom I don't want my mom to die. I said are you talking about your mom in Ethiopia and he said yes. I said, I know baby we will keep praying for her. He said ok mom and gave me a kiss and that was it. He is a thinker, not much of a talker. I wonder what goes on in his little mind sometimes. He continues to be such a joy to parent. This boy loves to ride his bike, so cute!
EZRA-this little guy is coming out of his shell. He make me laugh every day and is starting to have a lot more to say. He loves to wear boots around all day, no matter how hot it is. He sometimes comes to me and says, mom, Abreham loves me and I will say yes he does. Abreham takes care of Ezra and Petros, it is so sweet. Ezra gets braver and tougher by the day. All he needed was an older brother to love and him and push him to get a little tougher.
PETROS-This little boy loves cars. He likes to sit and look for car adds in magazines and sit and look at them and make car noises, it is so funny. The other day he was praying and in the middle of his prayer he just started making car noises. Jake and I have been encouraging the kids to not baby Petros and to help us make him grow up a bit. I keep telling him, Petros you are a big boy and he will look at me and say, no baby, big boy. HE will be three next month. He loves, loves to dance and listen to uncle Benjah, and Lecrae.
Anthony was in Ethiopia this summer and met with their birth mom. We now have video of her talking about why she had to give the kids up for adoption. We found out more about the kids and it is very helpful.
WE are starting homeschooling and it is so hard for me. I love my kids and I love having them home but the whole teaching thing is so hard for me. I love to teach them practical things, but school stuff not really my thing. I am going to try it, but I am not promising anything. It is hard teaching two children that don't totally now English yet. The three of them all learn differently. Each day is so beyond me, the amount of patience, love, compassion, and discipline, is so beyond me. God is showing me his power and faithfulness. This morning I started the day with tears just thinking of everything. I can't spend time thinking about those things, it is too overwhelming. It takes a lot of discipline for me to think on the truth so I don't break down. We just had our six month post placement. These last six months have by far been the hardest of my life. Nothing compares to it. The reality of it is it is very very hard, but I have never questioned our decision to do this. God makes it clear each day that this is exactly what He had for us.
love love
Jen
We are moving to Virginia. Jake and I have struggled and prayed through this for a long, long time. Jake feels that our next step is to Virginia. I am looking forward to see what God is going to do in our lives.
ADANECH-we have made some huge strides this summer. The other day she woke up and said, mom I had a dream. She proceeded to tell me about her dream. She dreamed that we went to Ethiopia and I brought her to her birth mom and we all cried. She said I left her with her and that night she was crying for me and wanted me to come and get her. I have never wanted her to feel like she has to choose a mother that she loves more, but that dream showed me that she is starting to truly trust me and love me, it was so sweet. Addie learned how to ride a bike this summer. It was full of DRAMA!!! You have to understand that this girl can turn on the drama like you have never seen. She has learned to use drama to get her way and I am constantly trying to teach her that, that is not ok. So I looked at her and said I don't care if we have to stay up all night you will obey me and learn to ride this bike. I knew she was more then capable. So after a lot of screaming, spanking, and crying, she learned. the other kids were in bed. After she learned she got off her bike and came to me crying and was so thankful. I helped her shower and get ready for bed and she just kept saying she was so thankful. Through this whole episode we quoted scripture and prayed and I think it was a big break through for the both of us. God gave her to me for a very specific reason. I see it ever day!!!
MARYA-Last night we were out to eat and I had told the children not to get up. Well Marya got up and I explained that when we got home she was going to have to have a spank. So by the time we got home I was tired and she reminded me about the spank and I said I am not going to spank you, you did good the rest of the night. I have never said that before, just copped out on a spank. so after I said that Marya said with great passion in her voice, Mom you can not disobey God. He says that you have to spank me if I disobey. MOm, please don't disobey God you can't. You must obey him. I sat down on my bed and just started to cry. I said, baby you are right, you are so right. so I spanked her while I was crying and she hugged me and said,mom I love you so much. Please don't disobey God ever again. WOW!!!!! God taught me a lot through that.
ABREHAM-The other night he was brushing his teeth in my bathroom and he looked at me and said, mom I don't want my mom to die. I said are you talking about your mom in Ethiopia and he said yes. I said, I know baby we will keep praying for her. He said ok mom and gave me a kiss and that was it. He is a thinker, not much of a talker. I wonder what goes on in his little mind sometimes. He continues to be such a joy to parent. This boy loves to ride his bike, so cute!
EZRA-this little guy is coming out of his shell. He make me laugh every day and is starting to have a lot more to say. He loves to wear boots around all day, no matter how hot it is. He sometimes comes to me and says, mom, Abreham loves me and I will say yes he does. Abreham takes care of Ezra and Petros, it is so sweet. Ezra gets braver and tougher by the day. All he needed was an older brother to love and him and push him to get a little tougher.
PETROS-This little boy loves cars. He likes to sit and look for car adds in magazines and sit and look at them and make car noises, it is so funny. The other day he was praying and in the middle of his prayer he just started making car noises. Jake and I have been encouraging the kids to not baby Petros and to help us make him grow up a bit. I keep telling him, Petros you are a big boy and he will look at me and say, no baby, big boy. HE will be three next month. He loves, loves to dance and listen to uncle Benjah, and Lecrae.
Anthony was in Ethiopia this summer and met with their birth mom. We now have video of her talking about why she had to give the kids up for adoption. We found out more about the kids and it is very helpful.
WE are starting homeschooling and it is so hard for me. I love my kids and I love having them home but the whole teaching thing is so hard for me. I love to teach them practical things, but school stuff not really my thing. I am going to try it, but I am not promising anything. It is hard teaching two children that don't totally now English yet. The three of them all learn differently. Each day is so beyond me, the amount of patience, love, compassion, and discipline, is so beyond me. God is showing me his power and faithfulness. This morning I started the day with tears just thinking of everything. I can't spend time thinking about those things, it is too overwhelming. It takes a lot of discipline for me to think on the truth so I don't break down. We just had our six month post placement. These last six months have by far been the hardest of my life. Nothing compares to it. The reality of it is it is very very hard, but I have never questioned our decision to do this. God makes it clear each day that this is exactly what He had for us.
love love
Jen
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