Thoughts after 2 yrs

John 14:18 says:

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

(What precious, healing, beautiful, comforting words of Jesus)

Two years... WHAT THE HECK, SERIOUSLY?!?!? We made it two years. God is so great, so faithful, so true. HE IS LOVE.

I love this time of year because it triggers so many memories......

First day with the children in Ethiopia:

I am scared to death and so are they. I keep looking at them thinking they are beautiful and they keep looking at me with scared beautiful dark, dark, dark brown eyes. We were outside playing ball at the house where we were staying. Adanech went to the bathroom and after she was gone a while, she came out crying. With the help of our translators Anthony and Yosef we figured out she had gotten into my suitcase and took some of my food and was eating it. She was crying because she felt guilty, so I took her hand and we walked to our room. I picked her up and put her in my lap and we both wept. Not just tears running down our face, I am talking about truly weeping. I wept out of fear, out of sadness for my daughter who has had to fight to survive for so long. She wept out of fear while having no idea how to accept me as her new mother. There were so many emotions for both of us. I was so glad she let me hold her though. After our good cry together(which we have gotten so good at doing that together), we went out to play ball. That was two years ago.

I am sick with bronchitis right now. Saturday, I was the worst and Adanech stood at my door crying because she wanted to care for me. She is full of compassion. She wanted to hold my hand and do anything I needed. She loves me!!!!! and I love her!!!! Two years ago God placed her in my lap as my daughter. I am so blessed!

Back to our first days in Ethiopia:

I had not slept in days (no joke). I was just too excited to get to my babes. The flight had been hard and I was sick with sinus infection so, I was so tired. Jake took all the kids to eat with our friends while I stayed back to take a nap. It took a while to fall asleep and it felt like I had just closed my eyes when I heard some far off wailing. I knew it was one of my babes. I jumped up and when out to the driveway to find my Abreham standing by the vehicle screaming. I said frantically to Jake, what happened?!?!? He said, "Yosi told Abreham he needed to quit demanding from me and say please. Abreham did not like that idea so he thought he would just start screaming. He wanted his back pack but would not say please." And so began our first screaming fit.

Adanech was telling him to stop as she also tried to get the back pack from Jake and give it to Abreham. Yosi kept telling Adanech "all he has to do is say please." So later (THREE HOURS LATER!!), I was in tears. Jake, however, holding strong. He held Abreham in his lap on the ground while Abreham screamed so hard he vomited all over Jake. Abreham finally relented and produced the long-awaited 'Embaka' (Amharic for 'Please') and Jake gave him the Backpack. Then, as if transforming into a completely different boy, he uttered in a very sweet voice, "Papa," and wanted Jake to hold him some more. That was the first of many screaming fits. But, now (two years later), and my boy never screams like that and says 'please' all the time. He is such and joy and as the time goes on I see fear releasing from his sweet eyes and being replaced with trust and love. I love this boy.

Another memory from our days in Ethiopia:

I am holding Petros who has a fever and can barely hold up that head of his. He smiles all the time but, often has the far-off look in his eyes; like he is not even present. He does not walk well and his run is something else. We laughed so much at him and even through all of his sickness he had the best sense of humor. He is still is the funny man. Petros would often lay his head on my shoulder and softly sing. Oh, how I loved it. This little boy was more then ready to jump into our arms and trust us.

I will never forget being at the Embassy and the lady was telling Jake and I that once we signed these papers we could never return these children for any reason. Abreham was laying on the floor screaming because he wanted another kids toy. Adanech was mad at the other kid that would not give Abreham the toy, but just as the lady said this, Petros leaned into my face and gave me kisses on both cheeks soaking me with his snot (keep in mind he had just cracked his head open on the ground). He kept smiling all the while.

Although I was scared to sign those papers, Petros' love gave me courage. Although Petros was sick when we got him, he is such a healthy boy today. He now has one of the strongest immune systems in the family. When we all get sick, he's rarely gets it. I love this boy and he loves people so deeply!

We so often hear these words:

"You adopted them? They are so blessed. They are so lucky you gave them a chance on life."

But here's the thing: We are the blessed ones. Has it been hard? HECK yes! The hardness and the struggle has brought us closer to Christ. What a gift! We as an entire family have learned so much about compassion, trust, love, endurance, patience, selfless love and more love. We are a family because CHRIST has done a miracle in all of our hearts. Christ has taken us to places that were not possible on our own. Christ has broken us, picked up our broken pieces and restored them. Christ has shown us how beautiful it is to be broken and how much clearer we can see His face in that broken place. I cannot imagine our life without the adoption. I don't want to know myself without this gift of love.

So I pray,

"Keep breaking us Lord. Use this family for Your glory. And although we can breathe a little easier two years later, don't let us get too comfortable. Don't let us stray from You God. Thank you Jesus, thank you for all You have done."