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Every time we sit down to eat, got to church, get in the car, lay in bed together, run around with the dogs, read books, or dance together. I feel like our family is not whole. We are missing three of us and my heart aches for them. I am constantly thinking about what this or that will be like with three more kiddos. I cannot wait to get my three boys in a bath together and just watch them go wild. I cannot wait for Adanech and Marya to do each others hair. I cannot wait to look them in their little eyes and tell them how much I love them and how much we want them and have been waiting for them. I cannot wait to lay my hands on them and pray for them at bedtime and to sing to them. I cannot wait to hear their little voices call me mama. I have so many things I cannot wait for. But right now, God is refining me. HE is waking me up at night, He is bringing me so much peace. I do not feel anxious. I am standing on the word of God and it is so sturdy!! I know that during this time God is preparing me, Jake, Marya, Ezra, Adanech, Abreham, and Petros to meet and become the family that God has intended. The wait is hard but I am thankful for each day as he prepares us.
6 comments:
Jen this brought me to tears. I love you and am praying for you and your entire family...
jen, i am so glad to hear an update with your kids and where your heart is. i am so excited for your family and think and pray for you often. may god continue to be your peace and joy as you wait for your family to be complete. love you!
Oh Jen I can hear the heartache in your words. Praying that you are sustained through the waiting period. I hope to shoot you an email back soon friend.
Much love and prayers
Hi Jen, thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. I'm excited to see what you are up to on yours. Looks like you are getting ready to change your life dramatically! Wow! I'll have to spend sometime catching up on your story. I think those kids will truly be blessed to call you mama. Take care!
Lyndsay
Hope the waiting period isn't too long.
Jen, I linked to your blog through Kathy's (my brother is married to Darcy...) I was so touched by the words of your post about "it just does not feel right". While I was so excited to hear of this journey that you are on, I can all too well understand how hard it is to wait for something that your heart desires for so deeply. One of the greatest things I've learned over the years about our God is that His timing, His will, is always perfect. Even if at the time we don't understand it. When I was pregnant with the twins (they were born 15 days after Major) we were told that Megan would have a great developmental delay as well as a good "chance" of having CP. We prayed for 7 months for this little girl...after the girls arrived into this world, her prognosis continued to look worse. When we took her back to the specialists in Plano when she was four months old, every evidence in her brain that was "supposed" to cause these issues for her were completely healed....100%! I won't tell you that during those months I waited perfectly...I questioned, I cried, and begged God to heal her. He did Jen! She is a walking, talking, miracle with a joy that reaches to the tips of her toes in everything that she does. I just wanted to offer my prayers during your time of waiting and even when God can seem slient, He's not. His work behind the sceens of our life and His perfect will will be revealed in the most appropriate time. "He faileth not!" God bless you so abundantly and let us know if we can come into agreement with you and your family as you wait for these precious children whose lives will forever be blessed by all the work that you have done to see that they have a life filled with, love, relationship, and most of all, a life with Jesus Christ who is everything to them!
In His Grip!
Kristi
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