We made it home

We made it home!!! The trip was just over 30 hours and beyond difficult. The flying was the easy part, it was all the lines we had to stand in for immigration and security which we had to do many times. It was wonderful to be around other adoptive families so we could encourage each other. I really thought about falling on the ground and screaming at one point. Adanech helped so much, carrying stuff and staying right by us. Adanech and Petros traveled so well and the Lord gave us strength to work with Abreham. We are still going on very little sleep. When we got home the kids were out and would not wake up and got up at 2 am ready to go last night. We got them to lay back down . I am hoping that tonight we will get a goods night sleep. Marya has been amazing with the children. She ran to them hugged them. She is always taking Adanech by the hand and showing her things. They took baths together this morning and it was pretty cute. IT is hard for me to fully be here when I am so tired. My body shakes because I am so tired and my emotions are all over the place. IT goes like this, fear, fear, can't do this, yes God called me to this, fear, anxiety, trust, trust, fear, and some more fear. Those are kind of my thoughts. some funny things. Ezra said, that boy has dark hands. We use charades a lot with the new children so Marya has started to use it a lot and it is so funny.

Please pray for Adanech. Before we left for the airport she cried so hard it made her vomit. She wanted to see her birth mom. The women at the guest house encouraged Jake and I some more and talked with Adanech. There was not a dry eye around. I have never cried so many tears in my life. Once again Jake just jumped right in and held me and Adanech as we both cried our eyes out. Abreham could not wait to go with us and to fly but he sure does not want the limits we are giving him. Marya was great training for this!! I have said many times that her toddler time was training for something else. Petros is doing great. He of course is like any toddler and needs a lot of help but he is happy and loving all the time. The transition will be easiest on him. I am sooooooo thankful for the prayers. I have never faced something so difficult in my life emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. It has been the biggest battle of my life and it is just getting started. I just have to say again how wonderful Marya has been. she is giving them everything she has and tells them how much she loves them all the time. In the night when Adanech was up she asked for Marya, it was really sweet. I think I will try to let them sleep together tonight.

Please pray for peace. Right now it is like having three strangers in your house that do not trust you or respect your limits. Pray for an attachment to come fast for all of us. I have never been so uncomfortable in my life. The task ahead of us is very overwhelming. We have to constantly remind ourselves and each other that we were called to do this.

love

Jen

One week home

So one week ago today we were preparing for our 30 some hour flight. The Lord really carried us through that one. We all seem to be getting better rest. Everyone is sleeping great!!!

Adanech-is being strong. Every day she has her cry time and ignores us but she lets us hold her and rock her until she can smile again. It is hard for her to let us take care of her brothers. She loves to learn. I wish you could of seen her face the first time she rode a bike, jumped on the tramp, sat on a swing and went down a slide. I have never seen someone squeal in such delight. She is not all that crazy about the food here yet but she is trying it all. She loves spagehetti!! It is hard for her not to be able to communicate with us better. She was very verbal in Ethiopia so I am excited for to get to talk more in the futures.

Abreham-is still very loving and very disobedient. Each day he seems to get more comfortable with the limits and love them. He loves puzzles and does the same one over and over again. He wants to ride the trike outside all day and has the best time giving the other children rides on it but if you ask him to share it turns into a huge fit.. He loves to eat anything we put in front of him. He always thinks he needs more food and is very happy when his plate is full. His coughing is improving daily. Clean water and clean air does wonders for them.

Petros-is the funniest little guy, he has us laughing all the time. He loves everyone in the house and seems to really be attaching to Jake and I. He grows in strength each day. He was very weak when we first got him but he is getting around better all the time. He also eats anything we put in front of him. When we tell him that we love him he says it back and wants to give many kisses.

Marya-is doing so great with the transition. When Adanech cries she wants to hug her. She does a great job communicating with them and doing charades. YEsterday I had to take ADanech to the doctor and Marya wanted to come along. When they were in the car they had their arms around each other. Marya is very adaptable and is just doing great!!! She also interacts with ABreham and Petros a lot.

Ezra-he is doing great. Each day he interacts with the boys more. Adanech also likes to take care of him. Ezra often just follows ABreham around and they are pretty cute. Last night Petros and EZra were wrestling around on the bed together. I love Ezra's spirit, he is just such a joy to have around.

Jake-is amazing!!!!!!! His unconditional love is awesome and the kids can see it. I love love to watch it. He is right in it all, hands on. He is loving having five children!!

EAch day gets better for me. I remember the call more and more clearly. Each day I take it less personally when the kids through fits, or ignore us. I learn to love through it. To pursue them as Christ pursues us. Each day we feel more like a family. There is still a lot of fear but God is so faithful to show me my sin and to bring repentance. There have been moments and hours when I have though what are doing, what have we done, I cannot do this, this is just too hard. When I go to the scripture and see the truth all the fears go away, the excitement to follow Jesus no matter the cost returns. This life of complete dependance on God is just where He wants us. I have never seen the gospel more clearly then I do right now. I have never seen the beauty of the cross as I do right now. To see Christ in a greater light is the greatest gift ever!!!

love

Jen

day four in Ethiopia

WE had a lovely morning today. WE had another rough night with Abreham, Anthony came to our room and prayed scripture with us. AFter his coughing spell he went back to sleep for the night and I got five hours of sleep and felt like I could run a marathon. Abreham got up early and wanted to lay with Jake and I and touch our faces and hug us. It was a very sweet moment but once we were all up the struggle began. God has been faithful.
WE had our visa appointment today and it all went great we finalized everything. Adanech and Petros were great and ABreham started to through a fit but we got through it. Adanech told one of the ladies how bad ABreham has been and Abreham was embaressed. Yoseph translated today for us as we talked to the children about our love and commitment to them and that included discipline. IT was a great talke with tears and many hugs with Adanech. She said she is happy to come with us. ABreham was very pouty when we talked about obedience but he eventually wanted to hug and kiss us.
Petros is sooooo funny!!!!!!!!!! We laugh at him all day. HE can barely walk with the backpack we got him but he wants to wear it all the time. He has started to call me MommyA which means my mommy. IT is really sweet. He split his head open at the Embassy today but he is one brave little boy. It is interesting to be in a country with sick children and children that get hurt but no where to go for help. Wait that is so wrong, we got to Christ!!! Adanech and ABreham went to the a doctor today and their lungs are clear. I think a lot of ABreham is experiencing is spiritual. We will continue to fight with the word of God.
AT the visa appointment they asked us, do you understand when you sign this there is not turning back and no returning the children ever. For a moment I wanted to run for my life of comfort but God held me steady and as I was signing Petros leaned in and gave me a big kiss on the cheek. I sure needed that at that moment and then he proceded to kiss me many times after that and rub his snaut all over me.
I will probably not be able to write tomorrow. We hope to fly out at 10:55 tommorrow night. PLease pray that we leave on time. IT is an 18 hour flight. The children travel well and sit well. THey have been taught that at the orphanage. WE need many prayers tomorrow.
ONce again thank you for the encouraging words, it has gotten me through very difficult times. I cannot wait to see you all and for you to meet our children. WE have seen miracles this week.
love love
Jen

day three in Ethiopia

irst of all thank you so much for the encouraging words. They have helped more then you will ever know.
Please pray for Abreham he is still coughing so hard he gets sick. Last night we were up a lot with him, which means very little sleep for us still. We also had to battle another horrible fit with him today. Jake held him for an hour while he screamed at the top of his lungs and I cried and prayed. When it was over he wanted Jake and tears were just rolling down his face. Abreham is very strong willed and once again very loving. THe women here just keep encouraging us, it is very sweet. They see me cry a lot and try to encourage me to hang in there and that it will get better. The days and nights go very very slowly. I am praying for sleep tonight but preparing for a bad night with Abreham again. I called Dr. Berry in the middle of the night here and he gave me some suggestions we will try tonight. What a blessing to have a doctor as a friend!!!
So today while Abreham was throwing a fit there was nothing cute about it. HE was pushing,screaming had horrible breath and God reminded me as I was sitting and crying and wondering how i will ever do this and how will we get through this. He so kindly reminded me that this is what I look like to HIm without the blood of Christ and that i am called to love Abreham at this very moment. I am trying to keep the gospel at the forefront of my mind so I remember why we are here. Also that this is not about me, it is about the chidren and it is very hard for them. I must take my eyes off my discomfort and look towards Christ at every moment and then think of the children.
Adanech is so sweet and motherly. She cleans all the time and picks up after me. She does not like it when I cry, she is compassionate. She is also very good at helping us translate with the boys. She is a HUGE help!!
Petros is very very funny and very ready for discipline. He is very social and very strong willed also. I am planning on the next 4-6 months being very difficult for me but not difficult for Christ. I am excited to get some sleep and get my feet under me. It has been hard for me to eat but I always feel better when I do.
Anthony and Hannah have been the biggest help. They have supported us and I don't how we would of done this without them. They love on the children. God knew that we would need them here with us. Adanech is sitting by me right now just smiling at me and chewing her gum. She likes seeing me write her name.
Jake has been amazing. I wish you could all see him handle each trial with patience and great love. As he holds Abreham whether throwing a fit or coughing or vomitting, he just keeps telling him he loves him and that he is safe with him. Very very beautiful. I love, love seeing this.
WE have two more days here and two more nights. I am very excited to get home. PLease continue to pray for our travels.
love love
Jen

meeting the children

We arrived in Ethiopia MOnday morning very very tired. WE went to get the kids that afternoon. IT was a beautiful union for us. The kids recognized me right away and started calling me mommy. They were very happy to see Jake and they are very attached to him already. Of course I cried and have not stopped crying.Adanech and ABreham gave me hugs right away and let me hold them, Petros just wanted Papa for a while but he warmed up. My fear overwhelms me but I fight it with scripture through out the day and night. I have gotten very little sleep. all the kids have bad coughs and ABreham has coughed so hard that it has made him vomit twice, but i sure have experience with that. They are not used to anyone helping them with anything.
Today has been a very emotional day. ADanech has been sad for her birth mom but God answered my prayer. She let me hold her and we cried together adn I continue to cry for her. I told her how much I love her and she seemed to understand that I cry with her and for her, she hugged me tight. ABreham is very loving and loves to just look at you and touch your face, very very sweet. Today though he was demanding from Jake and Yoseph told Abreham that he needed to say please and that started a two hour screaming fit with no break and some vomit in between. WE won the battle he said please and hugged and hugged a lot. Petros is a ham and says mommy and papa all the time. HE is also fit thrower but we expected all this. They are used to getting their way so they don't cry or through fits. Abreham said, I will say please from now on. They talk about Marya and EZra all the time. I cannot wait for us all to be united as a family. ANthony and Hannah have been more then helpful. Also the ladies at the guest house have encouraged Jake and I to stick it out. THey said let him cry all day but do not give him what he wants. Pray for our strength. Jake has been my pillar of strength. I hold his hand constantly and encourages me every step of the way. Liz, your prayers are being answered.
I am very very tired and very emotional. I miss EZra and Marya so badly I cannot sleep. God has been faithful!! I continue to cry out to him as I lay awake battling my sin of distrust. Jake is at the doctor with all three children right now. tHey have to have one last check before travel. WE have three more nights here. THey are talking of letting the birth mom say one last good by. May God's will be done. I am very very weak but God is continuing to show me how desperatley I need him.
Thank you so much for your prayers. I love you all.
A very desperate servant of Christ
Jen

older children

When I would dream of adopting I would dream about adopting an infant. I would think in my mind I really want to adopt but I will just stay to adopting infants, it will be easier that way. I can still do this but play it safe. Those were my thoughts. Now we are adopting three older children. As we really got into it the Lord really moved in our hearts to not plan but to let Him move and to let Him choose our children. When we got the call that the boys had an older sister, I was excited but scared at the same time. Could I be the mother she needed?? I felt the Lord telling me, when I adopted you into my family you were not an infant. You were older and very set in your ways. Sanctification has been hard work. So if you are going to answer the call to adoption do not put limits on it. With that said the fear was not completely gone but I new what we must do, we must answer this call. I am so glad we did. What a time of growth!!!!!!! With that said I feel liberated to not fear the unknown. Knowing that God will fully equip us for what is ahead. It will be hard, harder then we could imagine. I am standing on the promise that He will never leave us or forsake us. I will call on His name and He will hear me. I will beg Him for wisdom each day and draw strength from the Word. I am just so thankful that Lord takes time to change a heart like mine. How exciting that He will change our fleshly desires if we ask Him to. God is not meant to be put in a box.

The Road

*Around 10 years old, finding out there were millions of children that needed homes. To me it was just easy. There are orphaned children, of course I will adopt some day.

*17 years old. Before Jake and I got married I asked him if he wanted to adopt. He kindly said, I am not sure and then I said there is no reason for us to continue in this relationship because I will adopt some day. Jake says, can I pray about it. I say, sure. We talk a week later and he is up for adoption. We continue in our relationship.

*20 years old, married and we are wanting to adopt. I am still too young. I needed to be 25. I spent a lot of time dreaming of adopting. Thinking about it when I would run and my heart would ache. I had no idea what was ahead for us.

*24 we start the process and we now have Marya and she is one. We want to adopt one baby and we have chosen Vietnam. We look at the waiting list and decide to be matched with a two year old little boy with mild special needs. After all of our paperwork I get pregnant and they stop the adoption. You cannot be pregnant and adopt at the same time. We praise God for Ezra, but it was hard to let our other little boy go. Another family stepped in and adopted him right away.

*Move to Alabama at 26 and start the process again. We decide to try to adopt two at once, toddler and baby. AS we are doing our homestudy we feel God urging us to put the age of the children and the sex of the children in His hands.

*We decide on Ethiopia, Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork!!

*We are matched with two boys Abreham was 3 and Petros was 1 AWESOME!!!!

*The next day we get a call that they have a sister that is 6 and we have to decide to do all three or none. We prayed, sought counsel and were matched with all three. Never dreamed of adopting three at once, or adopting older children at this point. There had been so much prayer leading up to this point. We knew it was God!

*One year to the date of getting matched with all three we are legally their parents. They are all one year older and it has been an amazing journey to get here. Preparation for what is ahead.

*147,000,000 orphans world wide. Pray about it. I do believe it is the heart of God. If you want to read about adoption I believe that Adopted for Life by Russell Moore is by far the best book on adoption.

*I am now 28. Through this journey I have seen so much of my sin and so much of my self motives for adoption. I have learned that the main driving force for this must be the glory of God. If it is for any other reason you will not make it.